I am not a big fan of reality television. I watch Survivor
because, as an original, I still find it to be entertaining... but all of the lame reality shows that followed have done nothing but clog up the television schedule and take time away from actual
TV shows. About the only thing that changes my mind are part-reality shows like Project Runway
and Top Chef
where there's some talent involved. I keep hoping that reality TV will lose popularity and fade away, but it doesn't seem to be happening.
And just when I think it can't get any worse than crap like Flavor of Love and Temptation Island, along comes Kid Nation...
From the non-stop commercials that CBS has been subjecting me to, I can see that this obviously-staged "reality" show features a load of "unsupervised" kids going crazy in a Lord of the Flies type society of their own making (yeah, right). Well whatever. If I wanted to watch kids screaming and being idiots, I'd go to the mall. THIS is what passes for entertainment now-a-days?
Which brings us to...
The top five things I would rather do than watch an episode of Kid Nation.
- Eat a tub of lard.
- Have sex with Ann Coulter.
- Run down the street in diapers while making "whoop whoop" noises and painting duckies on mailboxes (which, come to think of it, would probably be less crazy than having sex with Ann Coulter).
- Stick my penis in a Cuisinart (which, come to think of it, would probably cause less damage than sticking it in Ann Coulter's toxic vagina).
- Blow my brains out with a shotgun (which, come to think of it, would probably be better for my health than having sex with Ann Coulter).
Thank heavens that Pushing Daisies has been given a full-season order instead of being canceled for a new reality show called "Bitches Do Stupid Shit For Money" or whatever (wasn't that the original title for The Bachelor?). At least I know that there will be something worth watching later this season.