Weeelll....TECHNICALLY, that was just the end of Earth. You didn't show all the other planets imploding. :)
Because it's Pride Month, I was all set to write a nice entry about gay marriage in support of my GLBT friends. I've already blogged my support previously, but that was a while ago, and I thought I would come up with something new. But this time, I didn't just want to ramble on uninformed... I thought I would do some actual research.
So last night while I was listening to online radio, I started poking around. I had always heard that FOX News was "fair and balanced," so I decided to start there.
Nothing could prepare me for what I learned. Apparently there's a "gay agenda" set to demolish the sanctity of marriage and tear apart society. The Gays are hellbent (heh heh) on destroying us all.
Words cannot express the horrors I've discovered. Thus, I've sketched out the future of all humanity on a series of cocktail napkins while drowning my sorrows in cheap alcohol...
And there you have it...
GAY MARRIAGE = THE END OF THE UNIVERSE!
Vote your conscience.
About once a week I purposely watch Fox Noise/Fixed News just to hear for myself what those idiots have to say. It is very scary what these so called journalist get by with telling the nation and the world. O'Reilly is the worst. Keith Olbermann on MSNBC is the best.
Posted by Mrs. K on June 14, 2008 | Reply
Well, who knew Fox News was right. Damn! I'd better no getting married this next weekend. According to your "research and findings", the end of world is coming and I certainly don't want gay marriage to make my marriage meaningless.
(you are on a roll. Two awesome posts in less than a week. The rest of us need to put on some bells and make things happen)
Posted by ChillyWilly on June 14, 2008 | Reply
What bothers me most... more than anything at all... is that these people who are so opposed to gay marriage actually trot out "the sanctity of marriage" bullshit as justification for discrimination. This says NOTHING about gays wanting equal rights... but says EVERYTHING about the people doing the discriminating. Their beliefs are so weak... so fucking fragile... that the actions of other people are enough to crumble them. I can't figure out if this is more lame or sad. If two gays getting married is enough to destroy your marriage, you've got much bigger fucking problems than you realize.
Dave,
We must protect the sanctity of marriage!!! If not us, then who?
So beginning today, I am forming a coalition to prevent Britney Spears-Federline-Vegas Dweeb or Pam Anderson-Lee-Rock-Rotten Crotch from ever marrying again...
The time is now!!!
Jake
Posted by jake titus on June 14, 2008 | Reply
As a H2G2 fan the End of the Universe sounds like a fun idea, but the whole marriage thing is something I fail to understand. While it's a fun idea that gay couples should embrace it just to piss of conservatives and religious people, I keep thinking that the institution per se is somewhat backwards and increasingly an exercise in saving taxes and then funding divorce lawyers (and if I'm not mistaken people over in the US like a few marriages per life just like they like a few houses per life – much more than their European siblings), so it's really unclear to me why people are so keen on it.
Wouldn't abolishing marriage sound more reasonable?
Of course some of the legal advantages of marriages should be extended to all couples (but that's not the aspect which upsets the conservatives about it) but as far as I can tell from the people I know, being married makes them neither happier nor unhappier. I guess we'll see how things develop over the years…
Posted by ssp on June 14, 2008 | Reply
You're killing me, man! What a, shall we say, vivid depiction of our agenda for the marriages and homes of this world. (psst...just between you and me, i think they're scared to look inside the four walls of their own homes for the real answer to their declining happiness and such...shhh). Can I link to your post? Hope so...because I'm going to. You're a doll to support we gays.....we need all of the help we can get. Now, you'll excuse me while I go out to the barnyard for a bit.........
I wouldn't get married even if they allowed me to. It's such a fragile institution, far be it for me to bring it crumbling down. Gotta go convert some heteros. Bye.
Posted by IRV on June 14, 2008 | Reply
I love the funny comic, but it's not too far from what some people think. It's a difficult issue, but I don't think people should be so afraid of gays marrying. It's silly to be threatened by others' legal status.
J.
Posted by HoosierGirl on June 14, 2008 | Reply
Based on the totally surprised look on the face of the pig during that spontaneous passionate encounter, I'm betting the two of THEM are married..
Posted by Babybloomr on June 14, 2008 | Reply
oh Fox news i had up to this point based my life upon you but now alas it seems you have wronged me a everyone knows a man who leaves his wife to screw a pig would surely place makeup upon it's face before fornicating, oh well there goes my faith in Fox.
Posted by nicole on June 15, 2008 | Reply
This is awesome, and couldn't be more timely: I was having lunch with someone yesterday who suddenly told me they didn't believe in gays being allowed to marry, and didn't much like my response of, "if it bothers you, then don't get married to a gay person. simple." I WISH I had this cartoon handy at the time.
Dave,
I found your blog due to the "explosion". I am enjoying listening to you on the radio with Hiily.
I love this cartoon! I am also straight but have lots of gay friends....
I am looking forward to reading your blog.
Charlene
Posted by Charlene on June 15, 2008 | Reply
Hat tip to you sir. So sad that there are people who actually think that though.
Posted by Kevin Spencer on June 15, 2008 | Reply
This is why we love you Dave... social commentary with a sprinkling of inter-species erotica!!!
:)
Robyn
Posted by borysSNORC ™ on June 16, 2008 | Reply
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
HAHAHA!.
HA
OMG I think I just wet myself.
Oh wait, this is better: Try being on vacation (like me) in San Diego (like where I am) during all of this (yay.)
Some guy was holding a protest sign that said "Gay Marriage is a Fairy Tail"...
... I need new pants.
Posted by Krissi from Krississippi on June 18, 2008 | Reply
Um why don't Gay and lesbian couples develop a new term for their life time partnership so as not to piss off the straight married couples? Is it that big of a deal for Gay and Lesbian couples to use a different term. Marriage is a biblical term adopted by our country. Being Gay and wanting to commit yourself to another gay person is not biblical. Why would they even want to associate the institution of marriage with their own relationship? You show me a Gay Christian couple... Why not separate yourselves from the institution of marriage. Does not make sense!!!
Posted by Jonny on August 27, 2008 | Reply
Two atheists can get married by a justice of the peace at a courthouse in a completely non-religious ceremony. That is a completely non-biblical marriage and nobody has a problem with it, so marriage doesn't have anything to do with religion under the law.
And since being gay is not exclusive from being raised a Christian, I'm sure there are plenty of gays who consider themselves Christian couples... even if some people don't see it that way.
In the end, it doesn't make any difference. Just because two men or two women want to get married and have the same rights as everybody else, "traditional" marriage between a man and a woman is unaffected. As you can tell from the ridiculously high divorce rate, it's not like society as a whole is following the Bible's interpretation of marriage anyway... 'til death do us part indeed.
I can show you plenty of gay Christians if you really want.
In Britain we do actually differentiate between 'heterosexual' marriage and 'civil partnerships', which same sex couples can receive. Legally they are the same and afford the same rights, but heterosexual couples can only opt for a marriage and homosexual couples can only opt for a civil partnership. I imagine this was done to appease those that see marriage as being exclusively between a man and a women and I can't say I totally agree with it, but at least there is something that homosexual couples can get which is the same as marriage in all but the name.
And like in the US you can have an entirely non-religious wedding should you so wish.
Dave, I think the atheist comeback is brilliant. I'm going to remember that one for my Christian/refuse-to-see-the-other-side friends.
You. Rock.
Posted by Coal Miner's Granddaughter on August 27, 2008 | Reply
To those that don't understand - some of us have grown up in homes with married parents and always thought that somedays we'd find someone that we'd like to marry and live happily ever after with. Why should we call it something different when it isn't something different.
I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
PLEASE NOTE: My comment-spam protection requires JavaScript... if you have it turned off or are using a mobile device without JavaScript, commenting won't work. Sorry.
Entries Feed Comments Feed
Blogography Bits
|
|
Visit my Flickr Page Subscribe to my Mobile Feed
