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Entry Archive: May 28, 2008

Stupid

Dave!I usually wait until the end of the day to blog because then I have a day's worth of events to pick from. But this morning after I turned on the news, I knew exactly what I was going to blog about today... there's no need to wait.

And it's this... I am so fucking sick of stupid.

Honestly, I am beyond tired of the daily bombardment of stupid that assaults me on a daily basis. Turn on the television? Stupidity. Pick up a newspaper? Stupidity. Read a magazine? Stupidity. Cruise through the internet? Heinous stupidity.

And don't think for a minute I am excluding my own blog here. I fully admit that bitching about menial crap and drawing cartoons of drunken monkeys is far from brilliant. I may joke to the contrary, but I honestly have no pretense that Blogography is anything but "stupid crap daily." In fact, as anybody who was at TequilaCon can confirm, I proudly hand out buttons proclaiming just that...

Stupid Crap Daily Buttons with Lil' Dave and Bad Monkey on them.

But the difference here is that I REALIZE this is all stupid crap, and can say with some confidence that MY stupid crap is pretty much harmless.

It's the people out there who actually BELIEVE their stupid crap... the people who are causing real damage with THEIR stupid crap... those are the ones who are making me fall to new depths of despair.

The relentless stream of hatred and intolerance. The ceaseless persecution in the name of religion and morality. The persistent propagation of lies and fraud. The never-ending pessimism and greed. There's no escaping it. For the longest time I've been able to find it all amusing by laughing it off. But it's getting harder and harder to do that. Things have gone from "so stupid it's funny" to "so stupid it's tragic."

In weighing my options for dealing with this unwelcome reality, I had seriously considered becoming an alcoholic, a drug addict, or anything that would make it easier not to care. But why punish myself for the failing of others? Why sell everything I own and run away into the mountains? Why go insane and have myself committed? Why stick my head in the microwave and turn it to maximum-defrost?

Turns out I like myself too much.

So I came up with a new solution to the problem when it was time to make my breakfast.

Introducing pudi-cake-a-cookie.

Dave's Pudi-Cake-A-Cookie Dessert on a fancy paper plate.

You start with a big dollop of chocolate pudding, float a Little Debbie "Devil Square" snack cake on it... put a dollop of pudding on top of that... stack another Devil Square cake on top... then garnish with another dollop of chocolate pudding and stick a Golden Oreo cookie on the top. Presto! Breakfast is served!

Delicious! It's hard to be angry at the stupidity of the world when you're eating a pudi-cake-a-cookie.

If only I could find a way to get some ice cream in there.

That may very well be the answer to my staying sane until the presidential election is over.

Category Tracker: DaveLife 2008 × Food
   

Comments

Wow, that looks like a blood sugar coma if I've ever seen one.

Posted by Karl on May 28, 2008

   

Do you remember Pudding In a Cloud? Have you ever had it? Okay, you get a bowl (size depending on serving size preference) plop whipped cream in the bowl and make a well in the center and fill with chocolate pudding. Try it. Let me know what you think. Now, that's not stupid.

Posted by Tina on May 28, 2008

   

Yes the stupidity is rampant and I fear contagious. Your breakfast makes my diabetes hurt, but damn it looks good!

Posted by Chris on May 28, 2008

   

A little bit of ice cream should go between the two devil cakes.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Posted by Mad William on May 28, 2008

   

Breakfast of the Gods. Looks delicious!

Posted by Sue on May 28, 2008

   

As I've said for years, I don't have an issue with anyone that belongs to a religion as long as they practice it on their own terms, without forcing the rest of the world to join/follow. As soon as they inject their views and force them into law or policy, then that's where the line gets crossed.

That is some breakfast. I do like those Golden Oreos. They rock.

Posted by ChillyWilly on May 28, 2008

   

Ooh... I like it when you blog in the morning, I get to read you on the same day that I am on! Your dietary habits leave a LOT to be desired... the thought of eating that for breakfast makes my teeth ache.

Posted by serap on May 28, 2008

   

Now if that came with a side order of wine I'd be all over it ;o)

Posted by Penelope on May 28, 2008

   

Yesterday I was talking to Karl on the phone, recounting a story of something net-related that pissed me off and the words "bitch", "whore", and "slap that person's avatar" came flying out of my mouth. Karl just laughed and said, "wow!" but soon after I realized that I had reached the sort of place you are talking about...except I was letting it get to me in the wrong way.

So this is my way of saying that I understand. And please save that recipe for when I'm on a break from the diet cause mmm, mmm...that looks tasty!

Posted by Hilly Sue on May 28, 2008

   

You said it so eloquently that my only response is: I feel ya.

Posted by Sharon on May 28, 2008

   

Ugh... I can't even contemplate eating something like that at 2 in the afternoon, let alone for breakfast!

Posted by Allison on May 28, 2008

   

Oh my YUM!!


Yeah--stupid is the bane of my existence.

Posted by turnbaby on May 28, 2008

   

Ugh... I can't even contemplate eating something like that at 2 in the afternoon, let alone for breakfast!

Posted by Allison on May 28, 2008

   

Ice Cream on the side? Regardless, I think you've come up with a dessert that will go down in history as... well.. as... a way to induce something. History will show what that is, I'm sure.

Love this line: But why punish myself for the failing of others?

Posted by Howard on May 28, 2008

   

Stupidity brings me to despair too, if it's not making me furious.

However, physicist Brian Greene was on the Colbert Report last night promoting the World Science Festival going on now in NYC, and that makes me feel a little better.

This is my kind of mission statement:
"To cultivate and sustain a general public informed by the content of science, inspired by its wonder, convinced of its value, and prepared to engage with its implications for the future."

Posted by claire on May 28, 2008

   

You are my hero. That sounds like a fantastic breakfast! The only thing that could improve upon such greatness would be ice cream. :)

Posted by Sandie on May 28, 2008

   

I'm thinking that instead of using pudding to anchor the cookie, you could use a scoop of ice cream.

Oh yeah, I'm a PROBLEM SOLVER.

Posted by Tracy Lynn on May 28, 2008

   

Right on, big boy! Say it out! Stupidity does no one any good. Now, as for "Float a Little Debbie"??? At first, I thought you meant something else. And then I realized you were just exhibiting your Food Network cooking skills and vocabulary.

Posted by Lewis on May 28, 2008

   

There was a play called "Stop The World, I Want To Get Off." As much as I want to, there's no where to go. Yet.

And breakfast? Oh yes, I'll have some!

Posted by Finn on May 28, 2008

   

Ooh! Make me one!

Posted by Avitable on May 28, 2008

   

I want one right now! That picture alone made all the saliva in my glands rush into my mouth and overflow. I am officially drooling!

Unfortunately stupidity is all around. I've tried to avoid it before but it didn't work. Now I have accepted it. I simply acknowledge it and move on. I wish there was more I could do but I have better things to do. So I let the stupid people be stupid and I stay as far away from them as possible (I don't to catch it). And you're not stupid, nor is your blog. You've seen what's out there.

Posted by Colin Brooks on May 28, 2008

   

Watching Nancy Grace reruns will do that to you.

As for the pudding-devil-cake thing...I'll take 8. You accept out of state checks, right?

Posted by Dustin on May 28, 2008

   

pudi-cake-a-cookie. Genius.

Posted by Kevin Spencer on May 28, 2008

   

There's a difference between intelligent stupid and stupid stupid. Your blog is intelligent stupid.

Unfortunately, stupidity and ignorance are like currency in America right now. You can gain a lot more or at least suffer less heartache from acting like a complete idiot these days.

Posted by Brandon on May 28, 2008

   

Let's hope you are not allergic to any of that. Keep that epi-pen handy!

Posted by Robin on May 28, 2008

   

If it wasn't for sheer stupidity, I'd have nothing to blog about and then what?

I will take a pudi-cake-a-cookie, though. Looks awesome! What kind of sugar high did you have to be on to create that gem?

Posted by kapgar on May 28, 2008

   

Make me one. Does it reduce hives???

Posted by Black Belt Mama on May 28, 2008

   

You have the worst diet of any vegetarian I ever knew. I have no idea why that endears you to me, but it does.

Posted by Belinda on May 28, 2008

   

If you eat that everytime you hear or see something studip. You'll need the jaws of life to squeeze through your door.

Posted by Michelle on May 28, 2008

   

I never need an excuse for chocolate, so I was wondering .... what exactly pissed you off this morning?

Posted by Cap on May 28, 2008

   

Pretty much every single item on the news this morning...

Posted by Dave2 on May 28, 2008

   

I almost went into insulin shock just looking at that picture. That being said, I think I'll go make one.

Posted by Iron Fist on May 28, 2008

   

Maybe you are allergic to..... the news?

; )

And if you do run away to live in the mountains, can you find a cave with WIFI so you can keep in touch with all of us?

Posted by Robin on May 28, 2008

   

I just read this out loud to Steven as his bedtime story. I haven't heard him laugh so loud in a long time!

(I wasn't trying to put him to sleep, we just happen to be in bed using our computers :) )

Posted by kilax on May 28, 2008

   

You. Seriously. Are my new dessert guru. Avi for dinner, you for dessert.

Wait, that came out wrong...

Posted by Bec on May 29, 2008

   

Wait, why are there no Nutty Bars in that mix? Maybe they could be used as support to keep the ice cream stable, thereby allowing it to be used as a foundation for the first Devil Cake. Hmm. I'd better run across to the corner market for supplies and test this out for you.

Posted by Karen on May 29, 2008

   

That pudding cake looks like the best idea I've seen in months. That will keep us all fat and happy.

Posted by Will on May 29, 2008

   

OMG! Delicious!

Posted by Naomi on May 29, 2008

   

Loaded chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream... with a pudding chaser. Little Debbie makes me gag. ;) Those white oreos look yummy tho.

Posted by Winter on May 29, 2008

   

And to think I felt guilty for wanting a donut for breakfast.

Posted by Stacey on May 29, 2008

   

Looks like a nice dinner there.....tasty.

I agree there is too much crapola in the world. I don't watch the news much or the pres. race, just keeping too busy and it makes me depressed or something. Think that's why I like to go around and read blogs for entertainment.

Hope you had no more allergic reactions!

Posted by Patty on May 29, 2008

   

Psssh! Don't be callin' one of my favorite blogs stoopid.

Posted by Atomic Bombshell on May 30, 2008

   

   

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