So what potato chip company are we suing?
This is one of those rare days when I didn't leave the house. I've been home working all day long, despite the fact that it was an absolutely beautiful day out. Sadly, this doesn't give me much to blog about.
Unless I were to write about the potato chips and Coke I had for breakfast. Cereal just seemed like too much work with all the pouring of the milk and finding a clean bowl and stuff... but hey, the bag of chips was already open. Anyway, I got to the bottom of the bag where all the crumbs were. Not wanting to waste them, I poured them into my mouth so I could finish them off.
And nearly choked to death.
It's funny what goes through your head as you are struggling to breathe. Things like "how do you do that self-heimlich thing again?" and "I wonder if my face is turning blue?" and "oh dear, I hope I don't crap my pants when I die... that would sure be embarrassing!" and, lastly, "what do I care if I crap myself? I'll be too dead to be embarrassed!"
But eventually I managed to cough my way out of my death throes and live another day.
At first I was glad to be alive. But then I looked at the pile of work I had left to do and was kind of sad. Being dead is an excellent excuse to take a vacation.
Oh well.
In other news across the blogosphere... ooh! ooh! ooh! Brandon finally spilled the beans!
2008 seems so far away...
I think people do poop when they die. But anyways, I did the exact same thing, except not on chips. And after I realized I was going to live, I actually have devised a plan to impale myself if that's my last resort. Ugh. That would hurt. Better than pooping in my pants though. Right?
I'm a total cold pizza-potato chip in the morning person myself. Find a bowl? A clean one? At this hour of the morning? What am I, a magician?
I take all the potato chip crumbs and scoop them out with a giant serving spoon. Then I put that in my mouth.
I am literally about 6 minutes away from being a guy. Maybe 7. 8 tops.
"Spilled the beans"??? I thought that beans were, as in, Boston baked....not Philly.
Sounds like you need a good live into cook delicious, well-rounded meals for you while you blog and work all day .... I'm in love with the bottom of potato chip bags. All of the crunch, flavor, dust, and options for choking. And I always feel so much like a person without class when I raise it up above my head and throw it back.....the chips, that is.
One of my greatest fears about ever giving birth is pooping on the maternity ward table-y thing. I'm not kidding--it happens, people!
Philly? Philly. Hmmm...closer to Chicago...never been...highest murder rate in the U.S. right now... hmmmmm...
Posted by diane on August 05, 2007 | Reply
I've always wanted to go to philly.
and today I almost died when a potato chip I was eating cut its way down my esophagus due to my apparently lack of chewing skills. I felt that thing like a kNIFE going all the way down. I still expect internal bleeding any moment. Oy.
Dave, you and i might have chip issues.
One of my favorite meals is macaroni and cheese, eaten _with_ pringles. I don't mean pringles on the side. I don't mean pringles in the mac-n-cheese. I mean actually using the pringle chips to scoop up the mac-n-chhese and eating it, chip-spoon and all.
Topped off with some whole milk, it can't be beat.
But I must admit, sometimes I'm in such a feeding frenzy that the chips can choke.
Ruffles are good this way too.
Posted by Wayne Hall on August 05, 2007 | Reply
I once had to make a decision on would I prefer to choke to death on a corn chip lodged in my throat, or suffer third degree oesophageal burns from pouring boiling hot tea down my throat in attempt to dislodge the chip.
I chose the hot tea. For three days I regretted that decision.
Posted by Jacki on August 05, 2007 | Reply
I still just want some NY bagels with that kind of creamy, almost vanilla flavored cream cheese...omg! Hell with the beans, poop, and chips!
Posted by In her own Voice on August 05, 2007 | Reply
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