You'll be okay Dave. The word "porn" appears numerous times in your post. It really is all you need for some quick gratification I mean stats.
Halfway through each month, I have an alarm set so I will remember to check my server stats and see if I need to be offloading some bandwidth. This ensures that I won't overrun my limit and have to pay pay pay. Fortunately, there are some very kind and generous people out there who donate bandwidth when I need it... if I remember to use it.
Anyway, for the first time in years, unique visitor counts for Blogography went down. It was bound to happen eventually... I was expecting it to happen... but I still admit to being surprised. Apparently nobody loves me any more.
Well, 1.2% of the people who used to love me don't love me any more.
I should have never put up those pictures of Lindsay Lohan.
It's a good thing I am not a stats whore or I might have to do something drastic, like post those amateur porn videos I made when I was young and needed the money. Nothing makes visitor counts skyrocket like amateur porn! Well, except professional porn. I suppose if I drop another 5% I'll have to look into turning pro. Nothing quite like whoring myself out to keep my -ahem- stats up.
Speaking of surprises... I rented a Samuel L. Jackson film I somehow overlooked called The 51st State which had the amazing Emily Mortimer as a bitchin' lady-assassin who likes to drive motorcycles and kill people. In other words, she's the perfect woman...
The movie was okay, but not nearly as good as the other Emily Mortimer film I recently saw... a sappy drama called Dear Frankie. This flick also stars Gerard Butler who, in turn, is starring in the most eagerly anticipated film of next year... 300, which is based on Frank Miller's awesome graphic novel of the same name. It looks amazing. An even better adaptation than Sin City, if you can believe it...
The totally bitchin' sneak preview trailer (along with a nifty making-of featurette) is available at Apple in delicious hi-def QuickTime. For those of you who (like me) fell totally in love with Miller's graphic novel, there's a very cool comparison between the film and book here. Even if you aren't interested in 300, it's still worth checking out.
And now I'm off to "research" my pending porn star career...
Where are my amatuer porn DaveToons? 1.2% of me is disappointed.
Posted by francesdanger on October 14, 2006 | Reply
Just saw the 300 trailer. Holy crap. I love the graphic novel, but somehow hadn't heard about the movie. Thanks for the heads up.
Too bad there isn't a role for Emily Mortimer in it...
Posted by Jon on October 15, 2006 | Reply
1.2 % is not significant.
And you don't know the proportion of stupid persons who don't read Blogography anymore. Maybe it is a good thing... yeah, imagine... There are 1.2 % stupid persons missing on Blogography.
Your dream becomes true !!! :-D
Posted by Laurence on October 15, 2006 | Reply
Dave,
I'm one of the 1.2% missing persons. A really busy schedule is one of the reasons I don't get to visit you as often. Also, I work in a public school where I am not allowed to do any personal surfing, emailing, or internet viewing. Seriously, my internet usage is monitored daily. I am only allowed to use the internet for professional purposes. IT SUCKS! Anyway...I wanted to thank you for all the pink this month. It shows just what a totally cool guy you are! :-)
Posted by Mrs. K on October 15, 2006 | Reply
What is it with famous people and porn tapes? I mean, Screech has a porn tape now. WTF?
Posted by Mark on October 15, 2006 | Reply
Well Dave, I think your blog is awesome, and if anything they should be reading it to find out whats new and hot. (like 300-I'm stoked!) Keep your chin up!
Posted by Rae Rae on October 15, 2006 | Reply
Delmer... And get another restraining order slapped on me?? :-)
Kilax... Yes, yes she was. She's no Elizabeth Hurley, but I am totally in love with her! I'm going to have to fill my Netflix Queue with her films so I can see what I've been missing.
Franky... Really? I am as big a die-hard Sin City fan as anybody, and I thought the film adaptation was about as close as you could get! I love The Fifth Element because Luc Besson is one of my favorite directors, but it's another animal entirely to me. :-)
Mooselet... Bad Monkey runs around naked all the time. Why would people want to pay for it when they can see it for free? :-D
Frances... I'm trying not to get another lawsuit threat by upset mothers who don't know how to set ratings on their browser, sorry. :-(
Jon... Totally! Emily Mortimer would kick ass as a soldier from Sparta!
Amanda... Bad Monkey will have sex with anything, but I'm not sure it would make for good entertainment.
Laurence... The good news is that I don't have to worry about bandwidth too!!
Nancycle... My super-sweet ass alone could sell loads of porn! Hey, I'd pay to see it! :-)
Mrs. K... I'd totally sue the school. Free access to Blogography is guaranteed by The Constitution and stuff!
JubeJubes... Yes, I've seen Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction about fifty times! One of my all-time favorite films.
Mark... My ass is much finer than Screech's ass though. Not that I've actually seen Screech's ass (because, eew!) but you can't get better than perfection!
Rae Rae... 300 won't be for everybody because it is going to be a very, VERY violent film with graphic blood spillage throughout... but, if you can get past that, it does look like a work of art come to life. I can't wait.
Kinda funny, but that first Emily Mortimer film was titled "Formula 51" when Katie and I saw it. Did horribly in theaters and with fans and critics. Maybe that's why it was retitled.
Dear Frankie was great! Such a well-done film.
I'm not sure what to make of 300. It scares me because it is a comic series I absolutely worshipped back in the day and still have my original comics of it.
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