Blogography: Flutter

Flutter

Posted on September 8, 2006

Dave! When I went home to pick up my forgotten wallet, I was greeted by a small white butterfly. She was randomly flapping around like she was on crack, and I spent the better part of the afternoon trying to imagine what that stupid butterfly was up to. Did she accidentally fly into a window and get mentally damaged? Or was she just in a happy mood and needed to dance around like a fool? I couldn't decide whether I should laugh or feel sorry for her...

Davebutterfly

I feel the same way when I happen upon really, really, really stupid people stumbling through life like they're on crack. Do I laugh because their ridiculous exploits are mildly entertaining? Or do I feel sorry for them because their lack of smarts is so severe that they're unaware of just how stupid they are?

First it was the idiot who tried to race me to the McDonalds drive-through that I wasn't even going to.

Then is was the moron who let his kid continuously blow a whistle in the middle of a store.

Then it was the nutbag who insisted I send him a photo of myself dressed as Wonder Woman.

Then it was the dickhead screaming into his bluetooth headset at the post office.

And then today I get an email from some daft bitch telling me that my Ask Dave Widget is akin to divination, which is an occultist tool of the devil. Oddly enough, this is not the same woman who told me I was "stealing glory from God" by wanting to build a monument to my greatness.

I think all I can do is laugh.

Technorati Tags: Dumbasses, Idiots, Daft Bitches, Morons, Butterfly

Category Tracker: DaveLife 2006

Comments

It takes a lot to be able to laugh and get over things after dealing with some of the idiots in this world.

It's a whole lot easier just to pimp-smack 'em.

Posted by oujod on September 08, 2006 | Reply

Would you quit hogging all the idiot moron nutbag dickheads?!!??!? I swear, I think it's because nobody but you would have a blog entry that contains the words "butterfly", "crack", "daft bitches", "wonder woman", and "bluetooth" that you get the lion's share of experiences with these kinds of people.

You'd probably enjoy George Carlin's "Asshole, a jackoff or a scumbag" game show skit. The last contestant was named Wayne, of course.

Posted by Wayne Hall on September 08, 2006 | Reply

Wow. Dave is a tool of the devil. That's awesome. :-)

Posted by Nicole on September 08, 2006 | Reply

Dang, I think I got a week's worth of DaveToon fixes just seeing that Bluetooth one!

I involuntarily laughed *really loud* and probably woke up the whole house! :D

Posted by Kapha on September 09, 2006 | Reply

I feel much like that butterfly today, insane and deliriously happy. The cable guys cam and now I have my broadband back - it's all I can do to not lick the modem!

Posted by Bec on September 09, 2006 | Reply

That's hilarious. I wish I got some nutballs emailing me from my blog. Maybe after my Monday post, which will be a tribute to Sarah Silverman's discussion of 9/11, I can finally get some hate mail.

Posted by Avitable on September 09, 2006 | Reply

"Papillon du jour,
Toujours l'amour
Papillon du soir,
Toujours mouchoir"

Louis Chedid
http://www.louischedid.net/
(Andrée Chedid is her mother)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andree_Chedid

Posted by Laurence on September 09, 2006 | Reply

"You are so hosed"

That's all ask dave ever says to me, so if that daft bitch thinks it's the work of the occult (isn't that full of good bacteria?) then she must think it was spot on.

Posted by MRKisThatKid on September 09, 2006 | Reply

I'm sorry, I don't see the problem? I mean, haven't we already established that you are trying to bring down society and morals at the exact same time, and are going to use widget, cartoon characters and giant monuments made of cheese?

Posted by Kyra on September 09, 2006 | Reply

Soooo.....does one take that as a compliment to be a tool of the Devil?

Posted by Kyle I on September 09, 2006 | Reply

You do seem to attract the crazy. Yours truly included.

Posted by yellojkt on September 09, 2006 | Reply

I saw the best sign the other day:
"Stupidity should be painful"

Absolutely.

Posted by Jill on September 09, 2006 | Reply

Funny, I've been reading you long enough now that I did not have to click on the links to the referenced entries because I remembered them from the first time I read them.

Posted by Eve on September 09, 2006 | Reply

laugh and laugh loudly and long. it's the only thing to do. :)

Posted by ms. sizzle on September 09, 2006 | Reply

I beleive you left out the lady that parked in the handicapped spot.

Posted by The Chad on September 09, 2006 | Reply

Aww...I can't play w/ the "tool of the devil" because I don't have a Mac.

I had no idea Lucifer was so bigoted. :)

Posted by adena on September 09, 2006 | Reply

I thought people were really smart in the Pacific Northwest.

Posted by Mark on September 09, 2006 | Reply

Or do you envy them their apparently blissful state of ignorance? Nah.

And how did I miss the "Ask Dave" widget? Direct me? I thought I never missed a day here!

Speaking of Things You Don't Neccessarily OWE Us...what became of DavePeeps?

Posted by Belinda on September 10, 2006 | Reply

What happens when "daft bitch" walks into a toy store and sees all the Magic 8 Balls on display? That should be fun to watch.

Posted by kapgar on September 11, 2006 | Reply

The butterfly was intoxicated by your sweetness. No wait, whose blog is this anyway??

By the way, I'm ticked at you. I'm now officially hooked on VM. Damn you and your powers of evil!

Posted by Juli on September 11, 2006 | Reply

Add a Comment

I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
PLEASE NOTE: My comment-spam protection requires JavaScript... if you have it turned off or are using a mobile device without JavaScript, commenting won't work. Sorry.