Salty

Winter travel sucks ass.

First my flight out of Wenatchee was delayed (bad weather). Then my flight out of Seattle was delayed (first fog, then the infamous "mechanical difficulties" excuse). As if the delays weren't bad enough, hanging around airports when people are freaking out is about as bad as it gets. Passengers screaming at gate agents. Passengers screaming at other passengers. Kids screaming at nobody in particular... if it weren't for my iPod drowning out the chaos, I'd be pretty insane right about now.

Panic on the runways of SeaTac...

Proving that you simply cannot travel without the inevitable freak-factor (the last time I flew to Salt Lake City, I had to witness a guy shaving his chest in the bathroom), today I got to see an older hippie couple (the sixties were NOT kind to these people) picking out porn mags together at Hudson News. "Oooooh she's pretty" says the woman. "You know she's not my type" says the man. Gack! Now I have heinous images running through my mind, and almost need to buy a porn mag myself so that I can put my head back to "normal."

Of course, "normal" is a relAAAAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Somebody is clipping their fingernails. SOMEBODY IS CLIPPING THEIR FINGERNAILS!!!

And the worst part is that his fingernail clippings are probably flinging off into that lady's hair and stuff! Oh gag! Public nail-clipping should be punishable by bitch-slapping. Still, this is not quite so bad as the lady in McDonalds from a couple of weeks ago.

Oog. Because of the flight delays, it looks like today's Lego Holiday Tale chapter is going to have to be done under less than ideal conditions...

CHAPTER 11: Crash the Walls.
LEGO ADVENT CALENDAR TOY OF THE DAY: Road Barrier.
   
Lego Dave and his faithful companion Barky the Dog are rushing the brave construction worker to the hospital all while being chased by the evil Lego Buzz...
   
"HEY! LOOK OUT!" the construction worker yells. "THERE'S ROAD CONSTRUCTION AHEAD!"
"Bark! Bark" warns Barky the Dog as he hops in the wheelbarrow.
   
Lego Dave nearly runs into a steamroller, but managed to skid around a street corner instead.
   
"That was close!" sighs the construction worker.
"Bark! Bark!" agrees Barky the Dog.
"We're not out of the woods yet!" says Lego Dave... "there's a barrier ahead!"
"That's not all!" the construction worker hollers. "That lunatic with a saw took a short-cut and is coming this way!"
"Oh no!" exclaims Lego Dave. "Doesn't his rotary saw ever run out of gas?"
"DIE! DIE! DIE!" shouts Lego Buzz.
   
Things are looking mighty grim for our heroes... how can they possibly escape from Lego Buzz this time?
   
FIND OUT TOMORROW WHEN DAVE'S "A VERY LEGO HOLIDAY TALE" CONTINUES!

Comments

I must be a little behind, I thought you still had a tibook.

Posted by Fen on December 11, 2005

   

My beloved tiBook finally needed to be replaced. I'm still a little sad about that.

Posted by Dave2 on December 11, 2005

   

I think public finger nail clipping is one of the most revolting things imaginable. But I'm SO glad you took a picture.

Posted by sandra on December 11, 2005

   

Can anyone explain why there are hardcore porn magazines at the airport? I don't know about you but if I ever got onto an airplane and the guy next to me was reading his newly purchased copy of Swank, I think it would completely push me over the edge.

Posted by Brandon on December 11, 2005

   

I don't think that I would be gravely offended if somebody cracked open a Playboy next to me on the plane... or maybe even a Hustler. But Swank?!? Nasty!

Who would admit to reading Swank, let alone be seen with it in public?

Posted by Dave2 on December 12, 2005

   

the most gross place to clip your nails would be at a nail-biting seminar..the thought of people diving on the floor fighting for those tasty morsels is beyond description.
"clip-clip"
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!

Posted by Harold on December 12, 2005

   

You shouldn't have hid the finger-clipper's face. That guy deserves to be publicly humiliated.

Posted by Neil on December 12, 2005

   

Dave, that's a very cool shot of the tarmac ~ looks like a painting.

Where's the photo of you staging the Lego toys on your computer??? Assuming you did this in the airport waiting area, I'm sure you made the screaming kids more than a little envious : )

What's grosser than seeing the nail clipper guy in action, would be later to find a piece of his shrapnel lodged between one of your PowerBook keys.

Safe travels,
Wade

Posted by Wade on December 12, 2005

   

You should've gone over to him with the picture and said, "Yes, that's how disgusting you look".

Posted by Cavan on December 12, 2005

   

Sandra: I would be happy to frame that shot as a glossy 8x10 and send it to you! :-)

Harold: Have you ever thought of coming out with a diet plan? I think you just made me lose me appetite for like a week or something. :-P

Neil: I would have shown his face, but it would be just my luck that the guy is a high-powered attorney who would totally sue my ass for defamation. :-(

Wade: DUDE! Fingernails in my keyboard?!? Oh the humanity! I hadn't thought of that before! That's almost WORSE than fingernails in my Egg McMuffin! :-) The fog shot of the tarmac is cool... unless you have been waiting at the airport for five hours because of it. Some people were getting very, very edgy, including me, which is why none of the kids would DARE touch my Lego! "Hey kid... Leggo my Lego," I would say! :-D

Cavan: I would have shown him the picture, but it would be just my luck that the guy is a pro wrestler who would totally pummel my ass for sport. :-(

Posted by Dave2 on December 12, 2005

   

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