Posted on July 27, 2005
Make no mistake about it... Adobe is evil and must be destroyed.
Ever since upgrading my "Adobe Creative Suite" to version 2, I've been plagued with problems. And since 99% of the work I do is in CS apps (Photoshop, Illustrator, GoLive, and InDesign) this is a seriously big deal. Most of the problems are just annoyances that hinder my productivity. But a few of the problems are so mind-staggeringly critical, that my work abruptly comes to a halt and there doesn't seem to be any way around it.
Case in point: A typeface that I use every single day is "Helvetica Black." Look at any US food product and where you see the words "NUTRITION FACTS" - that's Helvetica Black. It's everywhere in everything I do. But it no longer works in Adobe Illustrator CS2. The font doesn't load and won't appear. It works perfectly in CS1, but CS2 refuses to acknowledge it. So I go to the Adobe KnowledgeBase and find a document telling me that some fonts won't load if they are too old, and the solution is to purchase a font upgrade.
But there is really no such thing as a font "upgrade" because there is no upgrade discount at all. It simply means that you have to purchase all new fonts. Which is quite a scam when you think about it. How do you get people to buy fonts they already own? Just make the fonts they purchased not work anymore! Genius!
So I go spend hundreds of dollars to buy those same fonts (AGAIN) only to find out that there is a bug in Illustrator that prevents replacing old document fonts with new versions. This pretty much sucks, because it means that I am forced to change each and every occurrence manually... which adds up to hours of extra work.
Since I am on a deadline, I call Adobe Technical Support.
The operator tells me that I need to have a credit card ready to pay for support. When I ask how come I don't get complimentary support for a new product purchase, I'm told that it's up to the support specialist to decide that. When I ask how come I have to pay to get support for a bug in their program, I'm told that it's up to the support specialist. Well, whatever, so I ask to be connected to a support specialist.
"Sure, can I get your serial number?" the operator asks.
"Errr... here's the number from the 'About Box' - is that what you want?" I reply.
"NO! That's only the first 20 digits... I need all 24 digits. You'll have to get it from your CD case" he tells me.
"Uhh... I don't have my case with me..." I say.
"Well, you'll just have to go get it and call back... it's for YOUR protection" the operator responds.
Bullshit.
f#@%ING BULLSHIT!!
MY protection? How is this for MY protection? You want to protect me... how about telling me how to fix your f#@%ing program so I can protect MY JOB?!? I've owned every version of Adobe Illustrator ever made. I've purchased every upgrade ever released. I bought my CS2 upgrade DIRECTLY FROM ADOBE... yet they still insist on acting like I've stole their program, and won't help me. I mean, WHAT THE f#@%?? Do they honestly expect for their customers to drag their packaging with them wherever they go? This is the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my life. I mean if they are so f#@%ing paranoid about somebody copying my precious serial number, what is to keep me from scrawling it on the front my PowerBook in permanent marker for the entire world to see?
Companies have got to stop treating their customers like criminals. Because right now, I don't give a f#@% about Adobe. What's the point in spending money for their bug-ridden shit when they won't help you get around THEIR errors? Why should I bother to pay them for something when their first instinct is to believe I stole it? If I am going to be treated like a criminal that's unworthy of their support, then why not just take the next step and actually steal a copy of the program?
Congratulations you stupid Adobe f#@%s, you've just destroyed a 20 year relationship with a loyal customer.
But why should I expect different? They're going to buy Macromedia and have a total monopoly on creative content software. There's nobody else out there, so you'll be forced to buy Adobe whether you want to or not. And if you have no choice in the matter, why should they give a flying f#@% about anything or anybody?
Well that's just fine... but don't expect your customers to feel any different about you. Burn in hell you Adobe ass-wipes.
Category Tracker:
DaveLife 2005
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