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Cosmic Thing

Posted on December 10th, 2019

Dave!A while ago I was at the store and saw that the University of Washington Tree Fruit Program's hotly anticipated new apple, the Cosmic Crisp, was available! How exciting! And then... the price tag... THREE DOLLARS AND FORTY-NINE CENTS A POUND?!? This was so outrageous a cost for an apple that I was looking to see if it came with a free gold brick or something. But nope! THREE DOLLARS AND FORTY-NINE CENTS A POUND!

Too rich for my blood. I think 88¢ a pound for apples is extravagant. I took a pass.

But when I went to the store yesterday, they were "only" $2.99 a pound. Which is insane. But I bought one... a single apple at a $1.52 cost... just to give them a try.

As I was walking out to the parking lot it occured to me that they probably released them at a crazy $3.49 a pound so that everybody would think that $2.99 a pound was sane by comparison and buy them. Genius. It sure worked on me.

Here is what the Cosmic Crisp looks like, from a glamorshot photo on the University of Washington website...

It's pretty. A deep red, but not so deep it doesn't register as red.

There are a few things I've learned about the apple...

  • The University of Washington has strict controls in place as to who can grow a Cosmic Crisp. Namely, only orchards located in Washington State. For now, I'd imagine.
  • This is a Franken-apple hybrid between Honeycrisp and Enterprise varieties. Honeycrisp is a delicious, popular multi-use apple that's flavorful and nicely crispy but is expensive and difficult to grow, tough to store and ship, and damages easily thanks to its delicate thin skin. Enterprise is the opposite of all that. Cosmic Crisp is supposed to have the taste of a Honeycrisp but the toughness and ease of growing of an Enterprise.
  • The apple was so impressive to orchardists that 12 million trees were bought and planted at a rapid pace.
  • One of the reasons that the apple is so impressive is that it can stay fresh for a year in storage. It also browns slower than most.

But whatever. How does my $1.52 apple taste?

Pretty good. Though I don't get Honeycrisp out of it. It has more of a Winesap slant. Tart with a bit of sweetness... with a really crispy snap to it. For snacking I don't like it as well as the Pink Lady (AKA Cripps Pink, an Australian import) or Honeycrisp, but it's a shit-ton better than crappy Red Delicious apples, which are not so delicious (I'd argue they're mostly tasteless).

I have no idea how Cosmic Crisp cooks up. I can't afford to make a $10.50 apple pie. I'd guess they're fine. For pies I prefer Pink Lady (when they are on sale) or Granny Smith. For apple crisp I prefer Braeburn. For applesauce I like Golden Delicious or Gravenstein. Yet I almost always end up with Fuji because they are generally the apple that's on sale. And that's fine. Fuji are good for snacking and make decent pies and dessert.

I won't buy Red Delicious for 5¢ a pound. I have no clue why they are still grown.

And I sure as heck won't buy Cosmic Crisp until the price drops way, way lower than it is now.

   

Bullet Sunday 167

Posted on January 24th, 2010

Dave!I'm hungry and it's Bullet Sunday so I thought I'd bullet my current food obsessions!

PINK LADY APPLES!
Seriously, these things are like candy. Like Sweet-Tarts candy. Apparently they're some kind of unholy hybrid union between Golden Delicious and Lady Williams varieties that are crunchy, sour, and sweet all at the same time. They're expensive, but so totally worth it. Just. Can't. Get. Enough.

Pink Lady Apple

FROSTED FLAKES!
I am kind of going through a Frosted Flakes Renaissance. I eat these things for breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch, snacks, and also use them as a delicious way to exfoliate my skin. Just like Tony the Tiger says... they're grrreat!

Frosted Flakes

CHEESE TOASTWICHES!
Schwan's makes a lot of delicious frozen foods, but their Cheese Toastwiches are to die for. I've never been addicted to crack cocaine, but I'd imagine it's much like this. I frickin' DREAM about eating Cheese Toastwiches! Crispy crunchy on the outside... gooey cheesy on the inside. It's everything good in life combined into a toastable snack! Unfortunately, they are horribly unhealthy with 11g of fat, 5g of saturated fat, 20mg of cholesterol, and 490mg of sodium. Yikes. The good news is that they taste so good you won't mind that they're killing you! Helpful cooking hint: cook one cycle with the toaster set on medium-high, then WAIT 5 to 10 minutes to completely thaw, then toast another cycle (toaster setting may vary).

Cheese Toastwiches

CRAISINS!
I've never been much of a cranberry fan. Except for cranberry jelly at Thanksgiving. And cranberry juice mixed with vodka. And maybe cranberry jellybeans. But anyway... I first ate Craisins at the Hard Rock Cafe because they put them on their salads. I've been in love with them ever since. I eat them on salads. On Frosted Flakes. In cookies. Or right out of the bag. Bittersweet deliciousness.

Craisins

PRETZEL THINS!
I kept getting these on airplanes, but could never find them in the "real world." Eventually I noticed that Pepperidge Farms was making them. This means they are really expensive, but they are also delicious. I go through a couple of boxes a week, which would make me feel bad... except they're fat-free, and that's pretty good isn't it? In any event, they're a nice change from "regular" pretzels.

Pretzel Thins

   
And now I'm REALLY hungry, so I think I'll go rustle up something for dinner.

   

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