Jerry Seinfeld came out bemoaning that he "wouldn't be able to make Seinfeld today" because of the "extreme-Left" and "PC crap" has killed comedy. I think I might have laughed for a solid five minutes.

What the fuck is it with these irrelevant assholes who think that they can suddenly become relevant by having a stupid fucking take that's so far outside of reality that it has people questioning whether or not it's time to induce dementia medication? Nothing quite like announcing to the entire fucking world that you are so old and set in your ways that you can't evolve with the times.

Seinfeld out here acting like Ted Lasso doesn't exist. Jesus.

The thing that really kills me is that the co-creator of Seinfeld, Larry David, just ended an epic run on his post Jerry gig that was killing it season after season. I was not a huge fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm, but they must have been doing something right to go for TWELVE FUCKING SEASONS.

COMEDY: NOT SO DEAD AS WE WERE LEAD TO BELIEVE.

And then I ran across this TikTok that pointed out something I hadn't even thought of... It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which wrapped its 16th season and is coming back for a 17th... seems to have zero problems continuing it's particular brand of comedy in this "Comedy is Dead" era...

   
Why can't these idiots just roll around in their piles of money and stop embarrassing themselves like this? I mean, it's not faling asleep then farting yourself awake in the middle of your hush-money-for-adultery trial, but it's pretty close.

It's the time for April... fools?

Every once in a while I fall down a flat earth rabbit hole, knowing full well that I'll be saying "What the fuck?" at least a hundred times.

And this time around it all started because somebody commented "Nobody believes the earth is flat. You're just being trolled." and I'm like "Holy shit! Somebody actually believes that flat earthers don't exist?!? Obviously they don't get out enough, because flerfers are everywhere, and invest huge amounts of time defending their beliefs with "irrefutable proof" (that's neither irrefutable nor proof).

The insanity surrounding the impending eclipse just makes it all the more mind-blowing. Eclipses occurr where and when scientists say they do because of a model which involves a globe earth. They can literally show you how the calculations work so you can see how they arrive to their conclusions. And yet... people will look at all that and be "Nah, it's flat."

Even when they fail to prove it themselves. As with my favorite flat earth video of all time, which is a whopping one minute and seven seconds long...

Uh huh.

Meanwhile there are people saying that the National Guard being deployed for the eclipse is proof positive of the government knowing it's the End of Days... when, in fact, it's just because the expected influx of people to the totality zone (along with people trying to watch the eclipse while driving) makes for a potentially dangerous situation that local resources simply cannot handle.

And of course CERN has decided to fire up the Large Hadron Collider on the same day of the eclipse to drive the tin-foil hat brigade off the rails.

Now THAT'S trolling. Expert level.

If somebody would throw a science text book into Alabama, that would be great. Preferably science book on tape, as it seems lawmakers are not much into reading words in those learnin' books.

And while we're on the subject, I thought it was unlikely that politicians could be more fucking stupid and willfully ignorant than the likes Lauren Boebert, Louie Gohmert, and Majorie Taylor Green. But then along comes fucking Tommy Tuberville and it's all "Hold my beer." Jesus.

We have seriously got to have a basic competency test for all political condidates before they can even get on the ballot. I mean, critical thinking skills would be nice... but right now I'd settle for not being as dumb as a box of fucking rocks.

I find it hilarious how the same people losing their fucking minds over T-Swifty and T-Rav are the same people who reminisce so fondly back to their high school days when the lead cheerleader dated the captain of the football team... assumably because that was indicative of a cleaner, more wholesome age when "men were men, women were women," and nobody was "woke." Plus they're both white, so isn't this is literally their wet dream?

And of course all the people who have nothing but horrible things to say about Taylor Swift are all of a sudden "concerned" for her because Travis Kelce was filmed yelling at his coach to put him in the game after a fumble (or whatever). It was absolutely nothing, which is why the uproar is so silly. But I do like the memes that have come out of it...

And, while we're on the subject... you cannot foster a killer attitude of dominance at all costs in a sport which has the players going out on the field to beat up on each other, and not expect to see something like this. This was literally one of the most important games Kelce will ever play, and adrenaline and emotions are running hot. This is how he has been conditioned to act to make him a more brutal athlete. It's what his coach expects from him. Yes, it's not very sportsman-like. Yes, it's out of line. But all these people acting all shocked over it genuinely puzzle me. This is football.

Not that Taylor Swift is immune to stupid shit...

Lord. Another day, another triggered snowflake who has no clue what the fuck they are talking about.

The entirety of her album Reputation was created as a "defense mechanism," as related by Taylor Swift herself (which was in retrospect because she did zero promotion for it at the time). She had been ruthlessly attacked in the media and portrayed as an evil snake, a heartless witch, and serial dater. SO SHE FLIPPED THE SCRIPT AND WROTE THE ENTIRE ALBUM AS IF SHE WAS ACTUALLY THE PERSON SHE WAS ACCUSED OF BEING! THIS IS NOT HER. THIS IS A CHARACTER THAT THE MEDIA AND THE GOSSIPS AND THE TROLLS CREATED! So when she had this incredible stage show with the snakes and and the "evil," it was not her worshipping Satan or whatever the fuck people want to accuse her of... it's just a portrayal of how she was portrayed. Why is that so difficult to understand for these people?

But, yeah... let's start accusing women of being witches and all that idiocy. It's the Salem With Trials all over again, so why not? Nice to know that NOTHING HAS CHANGED in over 300 YEARS.

Personally, I want nothing but the best for Taylor and Travis. I love them both and I hope they're happy.

JUST SO LONG AS TAYLOR STOPS SHOWING UP TO SUPPORT HER BOYFRIEND AT FOOTBALL GAMES BECAUSE IT'S DESTROYING FOOTBALL!!!

Yes. YES! STOP DESTROYING MUSIC, TRAVIS!!!

The sun is shining, there's no snow on the ground, and apparently Winter is over, but I'm trying not to think about a possible drought come Summer... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Portraiture! Auguste Toulmouche was a wonderful artist who is most well known for his portraits of fancy Parisian women. What made his paintings so notable was the expressions he painted on their faces. The most famous likely being La Fiancée hésitante (The Hesitant Bride)...

But my favorite of his is Vanity...

This past week I was going through my art books and noticed something I hadn't before. There is a portrait of Auguste by another artist of the day, Jean-Louis Hamon...

After Googling for other images of the guy and not finding any, I realized something... this is likely the only record of what Auguste looked like. All articles about the guy show this same image. It's a rough painting, and yet captures a feeling in a way that a photograph never could. One of the many reasons I love art so much. Here's a self-portrait of Hamon...

Amazing artist. I would kill to be able to paint hair like that.

   
• Méndez! I wrote a whole post over my love of the movie Half Brothers (which you can read here). I'm such a fan that I've been tracking down other works by the people in it. #1 on my list is Luis Gerardo Méndez. The guy's ability to emote what his character is feeling is jaw-dropping. He makes you feel every emotional beat of his character, and is a big reason why I love the film...

BUT ANYWAY... I was thrilled to learn that his latest project is on Paramount+ and is called Los Enviados. Except when I went to Paramount+ I couldn't find it. After a couple weeks, i.e. TODAY, I found out that it's there... you just can't search for its Spanish title. You have to search for The Envoys instead?? Weird, considering it's a Spanish language show. But anyway...

So, yeah. Most definitely checking this series out. The second season just dropped, so I'm assuming the first season must have been pretty great.

   
• Cameron Classics, Now On Digital! I love James Cameron movies. And two of my favorites are True Lies and The Abyss...

I bought them on both LaserDisc and DVD. My digital version were ripped from DVDs and hi-res broadcast because they've never been available to purchase on Digital (or Blu-Ray). Until now! And iTunes has both of them on sale for $9.99 each! So now I'm digital legal. As I endeavor to always be. The only time I'm not IS WHEN THEY DON'T MAKE THEM AVAILABLE FOR SALE!!!

   
• Rojas! Every time I rewatch Ted Lasso I find something new that I didn't know. Apparently, Danny Rojas is based on Mexican football star Javier Hernández. While reading up on Hernández, I ran across Diego Maradona, an Argentinian footballer who is rumored to also contribute to Danny's character. And THEN I found this old video of Maradona where he was warming up before a match. The song playing on the field in the background is Live is Life WHICH THEY PLAY AT THE END OF THE SECOND SEASON'S FIRST EPISODE! MIND. BLOWN. The epiode where Danny recovers from accidentally killing the team mascot. The people working on this show really know their football...

And SPEAKING of Ted Lasso... in the second episode Roy is walking out on the field with a young girl, which is most certainly his niece Phoebe. Except the actor isn't credited on IMDB and she doesn't actually appear in the story until the next episode, where Roy tells Ted about her when they visit the school with Trent Crimm (of The Independent). But if she was walking out with the team, wouldn't Ted have already met her and known who she was?

I must have watched the series a dozen times by now. And the earlier episodes even more. It got me through the horrors of the past three years, and it's pretty daunting knowing that there's no more coming to help me through 2024.

   
• Tidy! A friend posted a story about a mouse that tidys up a man's workbench every night. If there wasn't video evidence, you wouldn't believe it...

I wish my cats were this motivated. The whole incredible story is right here.

   
• Expenses! This truly is incredible...

And he really does do that...

Don't forget to be awesome. The guy in the videos is John Green. He wrote The Fault In Our Stars, a book I never read... but did enjoy the movie adaptation. He's a really great guy who has some very interesting thoughts. I love his YouTube channel so much, and recommend checking it out if you want to fall down a rabbit hole of awesome.

   
• Sigma Octantis! Just when I think I've seen all the flat earth idiocy that exists... along comes another one. Note at the top where the North Star (Polaris) is riiiiight up top...

I'd credit the artist... but I have no clue who that is

Polaris. POLARIS?!? Funny... according to this flat earth model dumbfuckery, you should be able to see Polaris from anywhere on earth. But any time I've traveled south of the equator, it was no longer visible. South Africa, Zimbabwe, Antarctica, Argentina, Fiji, Australia, Bali... no Polaris in sight. I checked! But do you want to know what's funny? Sigma Octantis (AKA The South Star) which is not visible in the northern hemisphere, is the star around which the night sky rotates when you are in the southern hemisphere. Almost as if the earth was a globe! Remarkable that! These flerfers really need to like... travel... and stuff. THE CONSTELLATIONS AREN'T EVEN THE FUCKING SAME! JESUS!!!

   
Really hoping we get some late snows so we have water this Summer.

The TikTok hearing is about as fucking embarrassing as this country gets.

A bunch of bought-and-paid-for ignorant idiots who have zero concept of how technology works have jumped on the bi-partisan bandwagon to distract everybody from the fact that they're a bunch of useless pieces of shit, and American citizens are supposed to be cheering them on?

Christ.

And so TikTok will likely be banned, thanks to Facebook paying off politicians to be all angry about it and get rid of their business rival over shit that Facebook does ALL THE TIME!

What's amazing is how these fucking lobbiest taint-lickers ask questions of TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew, then don't allow him to answer and refuse to listen to anything he has to say. This is what counts as discourse in government?

We have fascists at the wheel deciding what we get to read by burning books. What we get to watch for entertainment by banning drag shows. How we identify by banning trans persons. Whom we get to love by banning same-sex marriage. And what websites and apps we get to use by banning fucking TikTok.

Didn't we fight wars against exactly this kind of bullshit?

And the fact that this is starting to become bi-partisan behavior is not lost on me. It just proves what I've been saying all along... politicians will do and say whatever they fucking have to in order to stay in power... even if it means selling out the country to do it... and it doesn't matter one fucking lick what team they play for.

All while telling us that they're doing it "for our protection."

What we actually need protection from is the fucking government.

Facebook can sell our private data to Chinese companies and Congress doesn't bat an eye. Because they're paid not to. But a Chinese company collects our data and suddenly Congress is outraged. Because they're paid to.

Until money gets pulled out of the equation, this is exactly the kind of stupid shit we vote for.

At this rate, it's only a matter of time before Blogography gets banned to "protect us" from my being critical of the government.

Our fascist distopian future is now.

With all due respect to Peanuts (widely considered the benchmark for comic strip exceptionalism), I think that Calvin & Hobbes is the greatest comic strip of all time.

Not only was it drawn in a style that flawlessly conveyed the energy of the strip, Bill Watterson created stories that are a master class in economy of words and images. I marvel at what he managed to accomplish within the constraints of a daily strip. His is a skill that has been sorely missed, and I keep hoping that he'll do another strip one day... even if it's limited in scope or duration. Anything Watterson does would be incredibly interesting to see.

I have re-read my The Complete Calvin & Hobbes set cover-to-cover many times, but that doesn't stop me from reading the daily online strips.

Today's strip is this...

Yet another triumph by Watterson.

But getting back to my marveling over his mastery of economy of words and images... look what happens when you get rid of the last panel...

Without the punchline, it is a much more ruthless skewering of today's "I'm Special and Deserve Full Credit for a Lackluster Job!" culture. It is what makes Miss Wormwood's response of drinking Maalox straight out of the bottle so funny.

And then look what happens when we remove the first panel...

Without the setup to soften the impending joke... Calvin objecting to his C-grade... the strip is considerably more vicious in nature. Calvin's demands are more of a direct attack. And if the words weren't accompanied by drawings of a cute kid, I'm note sure they would hit as funny, even though the concept of being recognized as "exceptional" for less-than-exceptional work could be seen as funny in any context.

Which brings us to the meat of the strip, which is this panel right here...

Now, to me, all of a sudden the strip (when stripped down to this single panel) is hilarious. All context has fallen away, so this becomes a scathing comedic commentary on government and industry. Congress excels at demanding exceptional recognition for doing a minimal, mediocre, crappy job. They run their re-elections on it! I look at this one panel so beautifully putting into perspective as to why our culture has been built around "American Exceptionalism," and here we are... it flows from the top. Congress demands exceptional recognition for less-than-exceptional work... people see this... people vote on this... and suddenly we're all about being "the best in the world" at everything, even though we're getting our ass handed to us by other countries in SO many areas.

Education being at the top of the list.

Forever moving the goalposts so we can be the greatest in everything is the real American Way.

It's a lot less work than putting in the actual work.

It's the middle of a 3-day weekend, but I won't let that stop me... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• There Be Dragons Here! We're three episodes into House of the Dragon and I'm fairly impressed. Not so much for the show, which is okay and I'm certainly enjoying it... but because anybody who has read Fire & Blood already knows what becomes of all these characters, and that's kind of exciting. At least we think we do. Heaven only knows that they could change events in order to drag the show out and have it end in a pile of shit like Game of Thrones...

In the books... this period in Westerous history which culminated in the disastrous "Dance of Dragons" war, was actually quite cool and interesting. If they stay faithful to it, the HBO series could have a great ending. If not? Well, strike two, I guess.

   
• POWERRRRR! In Amazon's absurdly expensive competition for the above, The Rings of Power, we've returned to Middle Earth (last seen in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbit trilogy). While watching the first two episodes, I was confused. What in the heck is this supposed to be? We're in The Second Age, which is fine... but it's not feeling very "Tolkien." Nor does it seem to be coming from The Silmarillion (Tolkien's book of stuff that happens in the First, Second, and Third Age). Sure, you've got Elrond and Galadriel, but not in a form that they're recognizable. At least not to me...

Not knowing what to think, I ran to Google to find out. Turns out that Amazon didn't buy the rights to The Silmarillion at all. All they got were the books which have already been made into movies, including the appendices, which is where the concept for Rings of Power came from. But the actual story? Pulled out of their asses. The show is visually stunning. The acting is great. And the story doesn't suck. I will absolutely keep watching. But, it's like, WTF? You would think that the Tolkien Estate would want for the series to be close to Tolkien's vision as possible. But I guess not. Money speaks louder than Elvish, I guess.

   
• GAH! MY GOD! WHAT DID HAPPEN TO MEN?!??? (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

I've heard this so many times in my life. "WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR MEN?!" It's such a laughable question to be asking. Harry Styles doesn't represent "all men" any more than a landing craft full of men during (assumably) D-Day does. Or any more than the alarmist snowflake in this video does.

   
• Booster for my Booster's Booster Booster! The minute it's available to me... "If you have had your primary series, with or without any number of boosters, you are eligible to get a bivalent booster this fall, as long as it has been at least two months since your last COVID vaccine."

   
• ZOMFG!!! I do not even know how to respond to this (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Now, I love mayonnaise. It's one of my most favorite foods. No stupid-ass "factoid" like this woman is spinning would make me reconsider. Which is why I'm sharing this, because Dan Fisher's measured response is all that needs to be said.

   
• Your Sexism at Work! Yeah. Not enough people are talking about this: Grey hair: Fine for George Clooney but not Lisa LaFlamme?

   
• Food! GAH! I AM IN LOVE AGAIN! This woman’s cooking TikTok is the best thing on the internet right now (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Seriously, go watch her videos. She's absolutely lovely, has amazing recipes, and her videos are wonderfully entertaining.

   
• Safety. A quick and important read if you own an iPhone: How to Hard Lock an iPhone to Prevent Unauthorized Biometric Access (I don't know how this works on an Android phone, but you should find out if you own one).

   
See you in seven.

There's a popular meme that many people have posted on social media which goes something like this... "I'd rather be excluded for who I include than included for who I exclude." On the surface, this actually seems like a nice thing. Being inclusive is an admirable goal and something I have strived to do in my life for as long as I can remember. I love the diverse nature of humanity and find life to be far more exciting because everybody everywhere can be so different. Variety truly is the spice of life.

Except...

I disagree strongly that you have to include everybody.

Some people... expecially people who are dumbasses or pieces of shit... NEED to be excluded from my life. All the bigots, racists, homophobes, transphobes, flat earthers, willfully ignorant, science-denier, persecuting haters (and those like them) can just go. I really don't want to waste my time on all that. Which is probably a good thing for them as well, because they're probably going to be far happier without me in their lives too.

The problem is that it's nigh-impossible to escape from these people entirely. Sometimes they travel in the same social circles. Sometimes they end up at the same places. Sometimes you have to work with them. Sometimes you're related to them. There's just no way to be a part of society without having to endure it, regardless of the lengths you go towards trying to avoid them.

And in those cases you just have to grin and bear it... while trying to be as civil as possible... and hope you can stay sane.

Something that has been a lot more dificult since the pandemic started.

Which is kinda the opposite of how it should be.

And yet here we are.

My heat is still on, so things are toasty here at Blogography... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• AWWWWW! You guys... YOU GUYS...

Derpy puppies are the best puppies.

   
• Darwinism! Fuck your 12 years of med school... Dr. Google is my god now!

I just feel bad that the kids are at the mercy of this stupid shit. But... I suppose if they are just going to continue propagating it to newer generations, it might be for the best? It sickens me that anti-science has become so prevalent and dangerous that these kind of thoughts go through my head, but here we are. What the fuck has become of us?

   
• Fury! I didn't just dislike the Shazam! movie... I loathed the fucking thing. It was categorically awful from start to finish. Now, thanks to DC Comics' "FanDome" event there was a look at the sequel...

Honestly? I had zero intent on watching the thing... even when it came out on video. But then they cast Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu as the villains? NOW I AM FORCED TO WATCH, DANGIT! Hopefully i doesn't suck as hard as the first one.

   
• Cuntry! Not only do I know all of these countries, I’ve been to all of them except Chile. But I did get close when I visited Argentina on the way to Antarctica, you condescending fuck...

The entire channel is filled with "If you don't get these, you're American" TikToks... and it's like... look... I get it. Americans are largely ignorant of the world outside our borders. But constantly harping on this ceases to make it funny... it just makes you a fucking dick.

   
• The BATman! BWAH HA HA HAAAAA!! ZOMFG! They went over the top… and not in a good way. Maybe it’s the way the trailer is cut together, but this looks fucking embarrassing...

Apparently the Nolan Dark Night Trilogy is still safe as the defining cinematic Batman. Oh well. I guess I’ll know for sure once I’ve seen it.

   
• DOG SENSE! Jesus. It’s just... why. If you disagree with policy, DON’T FLY. It’s not fucking rocket science. Though apparently it is for assholes like this...

Please just get the COVID you’re dying to get, then pick up your Darwin Award already. I’m so sick of this shit.

   
• Ending on a Happy Note! Boy... Yes Theory is back and I somehow missed it! This is pretty great...

=sigh= I miss travel. The world is full of such wonders.

   
And now I'm off again...