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HORSE!

Posted on January 31st, 2014

Dave!It's the Year of the Horse!

Or, to be more accurate, it's the year of the WOOD HORSE. Apparently, this is supposed to be a good year for me since I was born in the year of the FIRE HORSE and there's some kind of compatibility thing there. I'm not one to place a lot of faith in astrology, numerology, and all that stuff... but I admit that the Chinese zodiac has shown some eerie coincidences over the years...

Year of The Horse

While mostly associated with being outgoing and successful, Fire Horses are also considered to be harbingers of rebellion and destruction. This is apparently a good thing for a men but a horrific prospect for women and, historically, baby girls were at risk for infanticide because of the doom and gloom they would bring upon a family (including an early death for her father). Fortunately for everybody, Halle Berry and Janet Jackson were allowed to live anyway.

Luckily, girls born in the year of the Wood Horse fare much better... being known for their dedication, creativity, and patience.

Still... probably not a good year for Trojans though.

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Zodiac

Posted on January 13th, 2011

Dave!Most days, I don't really have time to goof around the internet because I've got work piled up to the rafters. I do try to keep Twitter running in a corner of my desktop, however. That way when I'm on the phone or have a minute between tasks I can catch up with everybody and see if anything is trending in the world that I should know about. Today was particularly heinous, work-wise, so I pretty much ignored the outside world altogether.

Then all of a sudden I noticed that people were going nuts on Twitter. Apparently, news broke that Astrologists had the constellations all wrong, and an Astronomer was trying to set things straight. In doing so, the dates for the Zodiac had shifted considerably, and a NEW constellation had even been added! Madness!

When I went to bed last night I was an Aries... THE RAM...

DaveToon: Lil' Dave Ram

   

But now all of a sudden I was a Pisces... THE FISHES...

DaveToon: Lil' Dave Fish

   

That totally sucks! I don't even like fish! If my Zodiac sign simply had to change, why couldn't I get something cool like the new sign, Ophiuchus?!? I mean, seriously, just look at this magnificent bastard...

Ophiuchus Sketch by Kepler
Bitchin' drawing by Johannes Kepler!

Wrestling a giant snake with your dick hanging out while crushing a massive pubic louse under your foot... all while fending off an attack by some guy with a club in a bear hat?

How bad-ass is that?

So totally me right there.

Alas, a while later it was all revealed to be a boatload of crap and a lot of gross exaggeration by the media (big surprise).

And then I remembered that I don't believe in horoscopes and Zodiac stuff anyway, and was able to move on with my life.

Barely.

I mean, I was a frickin' FISH there for a few hours!

   

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