I could pretend to know where I am and how I got here and what I'm doing, but I really can't say for sure. It's been a long day and I've had a lot to drink. I'm almost positive that I'm in the wilds of rural Wisconsin.

Not because I'm looking at my iPhone GPS (since I don't even know how to get that working properly right now) but because there's a lot of subtle clues around. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to know where you are when the signs all around you are pointing the way...

I'm pretty sure that when it comes to Wisconsin, beer is what's for lunch as well... beer and cheese with bacon wrapped around it. Other than that, it's certainly pretty enough to be Wisconsin in the Fall...

And the Jägermeister Pumpkins are in bloom...

That's definitely Wisconsin right there.

Doing the math... Dave2 + Wisconsin + Jägermeister + Ke$ha...

"Throw your hands up! Throw your hands up!"

Jenny + Wisconsin + Beer + Ke$ha...

"Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack..."

Ha! I totally lie. Jenny wouldn't be caught dead singing Ke$ha no matter how much beer she's had! I'm pretty sure that's the Pussycat Dolls right there.

Technically, I shouldn't be drunk though.

Looking back, I totally took precautions. I ate plenty of bread with butter. Salad with butter. Bruschetta with butter. And, of course, this is Wisconsin so I had fries with butter...

And a little carb-on-carb action with a Cheese-And-Butter-Risotto-Sandwich-On-Buttered-Rye-Bread-With-Butter...

Which was followed by Buttered Butternut Squash Ravioli in Brown-Sugar-Butter Sauce with Walnuts and Butter.

But, in the end, the Jägermeister cannot be denied...

Especially when you have five of them preceded by three Super Big Gulp glasses of wine...

Jägermeister cuts through a stomach butter-shield like a hot knife through...uhhh... butter.

WITH BUTTER ON TOP!

Tomorrow morning should be fun.

Assuming I don't have a butter-induced heart attack in the middle of the night.