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Bullet Sunday 480

Posted on November 6th, 2016

Dave!SUNDAY BEGAT SUNDAY AND SUNDAY IS SUNDAY, because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Butter. A friend of a friend closed his restaurant last December. A while back he was asked if he would share some of his favorite recipes and he did. Then somebody asked him how in the heck he made his burgers taste so good. His answer? "Butter and salt." Saturate the buns in butter before grilling them. Just before flipping, salt and pepper the patty (his restaurant had a touch of garlic powder in the mix) then flip and add more salt. Sodium nightmare? Yes. But restaurants don't have to post Nutrition Facts, so that's how he made his burgers taste great. Tonight I gave it a try with my Boca Burger patties. *AMAZING* The abundance of butter and salt totally takes them to the next level. High blood pressure, here I come!

   
• Voter. Just sayin'...

Why American's aren't rioting in the streets for an end to our fucked-up two-party system I will never know.

   
• Wierd World. Oh Lord, Really? Pat Robertson's crazy shit is hilarious, yes, but there are people who actually believe the words he's saying! I mean, the gays are going to force me to like bestiality? BUT I DON'T WANT TO FUCK A GOAT!!! THANKS, THE GAYS!!!

This guy is bat-shit crazy. Genuinely certifiable. Scary insane.

   
• OH IT IS ON! Heinz starts making yellow mustard... SO NOW FRENCH'S IS MAKING KETCHUP! =BOOM!=

French's Ketchup and Heinz Mustard

Which one is making mayonnaise next? And will Hellman's start making ketchup and yellow mustard of their own in retalliation?

   
• Dipshit Pie! Trae Crowder has become one of my favorite vloggers. His unique take on politics is comedy gold, and this was one of my favorites these past months...

Oh noooo.... where are we going to get our meth and pontoon boats?

   
• DNCE. While I was on sabbatical, I got hooked on DNCE's album Swaay for my "Album of the Summer." Their first video, Cake By The Ocean was catchy as hell and I was instantly addicted...

When they released their next video for Toothbrush, I was baffled by people calling lead singer Joe Jonas "brave" and "progressive" for featuring a plus-size model. IT'S ASHLEY FUCKING GRAHAM!!! She's one of the hottest women on the planet! I mean, seriously, there are guys who would take a look at ASHLEY FUCKING GRAHAM and say "No thank you?" It's not like he put a regular human woman in his video... IT'S ASHLEY FUCKING GRAHAM! Oh how brave of him! He was progressive enough to make out with ASHLEY FUCKING GRAHAM in his video! Give me a break.

The last video was for Body Moves, which was another catchy, high-energy track...

I have no idea if this was just a side-project for Joe Jonas or what. It will be interesting to see if the band stays together for another album. I sure hope so.

   
And... as good as it feels to be shootin' bullets again, this here Bullet Sunday is at an end.

   

Potty

Posted on May 19th, 2016

Dave!Oh dear. Trae done got his red up again.

I don't consider myself a liberal (despite being liberal-minded) nor a redneck (despite living in Redneckistan)... but I want to have Trae Crowder's babies. He is so flawlessly on-point in his videos that nine months of suffering would be worth it...

Give this guy a TV talk show. In character. Seriously.

   

Behavior

Posted on May 2nd, 2016

Dave! As it should come as no surprise to anybody, cats are weird.

My cats Jake and Jenny seem weirder than most, as they do inexplicably crazy crap a dozen times a day. And while it's impossible to know exactly what is going on in that fuzzy little head of theirs, TED has released a video which attempts to explain some of what's going on...

I dunno. That just makes cats even weirder to me.

And because I just can't get enough TED, here's another video that's worth a watch...

And now I'm feeling sick. THANKS, TED!

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Categories: Cats 2016Click To It: Permalink  0 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Tricks

Posted on March 17th, 2016

Dave!You know how when you're little and magic is real and the world is ripe with possibilities?

Even impossible possibilities?

But then you grow older and more cynical and the magic dies and you'd give anything to go back to a time when you could believe again?

The look on the monkey's face is priceless. That's what happens when you can believe that anything is possible.

Even the impossible.

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Categories: Internets 2016Click To It: Permalink  0 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Bullet Sunday 456

Posted on January 4th, 2016

Dave!A new year, 52 new opportunities for bullets, because Bullet Sunday on Monday starts... now...

   
• STRANGE! As a huge, huge, massively huge devotee of the Marvel Studios films, I'm ecstatic that The Powers The Be are finally getting around to exploring the mystical, magical side of the Marvel Universe. I've long been a fan of Doctor Strange, and everything we've been teased with shows that they're doing it right. Starting with the casting of Benedict Cumberbatch...

Doctor Strange Movie

Will be very interested to see how they integrate magic into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That's going to be a delicate line to walk.

   
• ARETHA! Watching Carole King's reaction is almost as entertaining as watching Aretha Franklin flawlessly belt out her song at age 73. Almost.

Talent like that don't come along every day.

   
• WEESA GONNA DIIIIE! I loathe the Star Wars prequels with the burning hatred of a thousand suns. And then there's this...

Not that it would make me hate Jar Jar Binks any less, but it would certainly make me feel better about his presence in those shitty films.

   
• Grapes! "I sold Star Wars to white slavers?" Really? Sour grapes are sour. Geroge Lucas is just pissed that people loathe his shitty prequel movies with a passion reserved for explosive diarrhea while JJ Abrams unleashed the Star Wars film everybody wanted. The Force Awakens is on target to becoming the most successful movie in the history of the universe, and that's gotta hurt. Though I'm sure the billions of dollars Lucas got for selling off Lucasfilm to the "White Slavers" at Disney is some small consolation. Time to go count your money and shut the fuck up, George.

   
• ZONE! I'm the mayor of The Friend Zone...

It's funny because it's true.

   
Thanks, internet, I needed that.

   

Bullet Sunday 454

Posted on December 21st, 2015

Dave!Thanks to Home Automation Week, Bullet Sunday is on Monday and starts... now...

   
• The 1975! Definitely a highlight of my week... if not a highlight of my entire year... was flying to San Francisco so I could see The 1975 in concert with Jester. This has quickly become one of my very favorite bands, and their live show did not disappoint. Not only did they play tracks from their flawless debut album, there was plenty of amazing new stuff off their forthcoming one. Like my favorite song of the night, Change of Heart...

I was very surprised by how fantastic their stage set was. It's dead simple... consisting of a large video screen and four video columns... but it's what they DO with it that made the show so spectacular. If you have a chance to see them in concert (which might be tough... they're selling out everywhere) by all means give them a shot.

   
• Elephant Walk! When I was on vacation in Africa last year, my first stop on safari was at Ruckomechi camp in Zimbabwe. It's a beautiful reserve in a region known as "Mana Pools" and is billed as "The Elephant's Favourite Camp" because elephants are roaming around everywhere. They were always around, and you are constantly running across them throughout your time at camp... I even found an elephant in my shower once. For the most part, if you leave the elephants alone, they leave you alone. Just don't approach them. And absolutely do NOT get near a baby elephant unless you want a momma elephant getting annoyed with you. I loved having the elephants around, and never once had any problems with them. Which is why I was surprised to see this viral video going around of an elephant attack that was most definitely shot at Ruckomechi camp. I ate at that very table...

While this incident is alarming, it also has to be exceedingly rare, because thousands of guests (including me) have been through Ruckomechi Camp without incident. Hopefully this won't dissuade people from visiting, because it is easily one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life.

   
• Star Wars! I have no intention of seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens while the hype is still running high. While I love Star Wars, that's greatly overshadowed by my hatred of people at the movies now-a-days. Used to be you only had to worry about people talking during the film. Now you've got mobile phones, which has made things even worse. I'm doing my best to avoid spoilers for The Force Awakens, but am still getting excited by the build-up to the movie. And this video by Jimmy Fallon with The Roots and stars of Star Wars is pretty awesome...

   
• Feeding! Probably one of the funniest things I've seen all year...

Ghost Mom

   
• Kitten! And now, before I go, the most heartwarming thing I've seen all week...

Amazing. I love happy endings like this. Best of luck, Lazarus!

   
Enjoy the rest of your Monday, everybody!

   

Pressure

Posted on October 23rd, 2015

Dave!It's been a fairly stress-filled week.

I don't know that my weekend will be any easier, but at least I have a quick trip to look forward to on Monday.


   

And now? Nachos!

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Categories: Music 2015Click To It: Permalink  2 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Bullet Sunday 454

Posted on October 11th, 2015

Dave!No time to lose, because a rapid-fire edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Puppy. The best thing I've seen all week...

"Roo the one-year-old rescued Golden Retriever who never had any toys, or so much as anything to chew, grew up imprisoned, starved and neglected. This is the first time she gets to choose her own toy at a pet shop."

   
• Assemble! Marvel superheroes may be absent from the LEGO Dimensions game... but that doesn't mean you won't be able to play something new with them...

So can't wait for this!

   
• BANNED! Microbeads are insanely stupid. I can't fathom who ever thought this crap was a good idea. Hopefully other states will follow California's lead in banning this toxic crap. In other California banning news... looks like SeaWorld San Diego will be closing down sooner rather than later. Can't imagine them surviving without their Killer attraction.

   
• Ad? After complaining about obstructive ads on the internet yesterday, I'm going to take a half-step back today. Because more and more I'm finding ads I actually like. Earlier this week I found one for gum that was pretty sweet. Yes, gum...

It's as if advertisers are finally realizing that we don't want to watch shitty commercials that suck!

   
• Morans. And speaking of ads I like, the inevitability of One Million Morons being bigoted assholes and condemning one of the best ads ever has come to pass. Not that anybody gives a fuck. "One Million Moms" (who are off target by 919,482 mothers) is about as effective at boycotts as a piece of shit is at not stinking. All they do is remind everybody that there are pathetic homophobes out there clutching their pearls and getting the vapors over something THAT DOESN'T EVEN AFFECT THEM. So yes. Let's save the children of the world... by protecting them from loving, stable homes.

   
• Poop! I'm not saying this product will change your life... but this product will change your life*...

*At least that part of your life spent pooping.

   
And... I'm bullet-poor. The end.

   

Arthur

Posted on September 4th, 2015

Dave!NOTE: To start the audio on a Vine video, you have to click on the little icon in the lower-right corner to turn mute off...

Vine Volume

To stop a video from repeating after you've watched it... just click on it.

And then...

I won't be blogging today. I haven't got time because I had a day of power outage followed by a day of driving to Spokane and back followed by whatever the hell this shit is that I've got going on today.

Oh... and also because I'm catching up on the funniest damn thing I've seen on the internet in ages.

It all started when "How British People Shower" popped up on my Tumblr last weekend...

I've been laughing off and on all week just thinking about it.

Turns out the guy's name is Arthur, and he has a Vine channel that's comprised of screaming at traffic and hanging out with his daughter. Among other things. All of it hilariously funny. And usually hugely offensive.

And here's a follow-up to "How British People Shower"...

Genius.

Arthur had a daughter a while ago, and she turns up in a lot of his more recent stuff...

Awwww.

Life lessons need to start early.

Arthur is an expert at childcare...

Arthur is a lorry driver (truck driver) and a lot of his earlier Vines involve being very cross about London traffic...

Very cross indeed...

Everyday life with Arthur is always interesting too...

And Arthur does love his fans...

But not as much as he loves his girlfriend...

Maybe...

And his mum, of course...

So... if you're not easily offended, be sure to check out the rest of Arthur's Vine feed.

You're welcome!

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Categories: Internets 2015Click To It: Permalink  1 Comment: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Bullet Sunday 447

Posted on August 23rd, 2015

Dave!Don't touch that back button... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Fighter. Before we get started... a huge thank you to the firefighters battling the very serious wildfires that have been plaguing us here in Central Washington State. The most serious being the Okanogan Complex fire, which is now the largest ever in state history (maps courtesy of the NIFC)...

Okanogan Complex Fire Map

Most of the smoke plaguing the valley where I live is from the Chelan fire, which is threatening a lot of people...

Chelan Fire Map

Three firefighters have already lost their lives. Hopefully these horrific fires will be contained before more lives are lost.

   
• Catastrophe! If you have Amazon Prime and don't mind a little adult-oriented humor, Catastrophe had me laughing all six episodes. When an American working in London accidentally gets an Irish woman pregnant, both their lives are turned up-side down...

Catastrophe Still

The show's page is right here on Amazon.

   
• Naptime! Could the solution really be this easy?

Damn. Banned in Washington State!

   
• Noiseless? I've been a huge fan of the Imagenomic app called "Noiseware" which does a pretty darn good job of removing noise from photos. Now there's a new game in town... Macphun's "Noiseless"...

It seems to get me great results with little hassle. I don't know that it can completely replace Noiseware, but I'm sure glad to have it in my Photoshop toolbox. Here's an old photo of me, BEFORE and AFTER at 200%...

Noiseless Demo

Noiseless Demo

Yeah, it looks a little soft... but at 100% it's actually useable. Here's another...

Noiseless Demo

Noiseless Demo

Night shots don't fare quite as well as photos that have enough light... you get some clumping in solid areas... but still, pretty nice work for a one-click fix.

HELPFUL HINT: If you want to save 20% on Noiseless Pro, just put the app in your cart then abandon it. Eventually you'll get an email with a 20% off code. I got one... AFTER PURCHASING THE PROGRAM... which is kind of shitty, but my loss is your gain.

   
• In-App. Looks like I'm not the only one pissed off by all these apps having stupid-ass "in-app purchases"... Apple has been running ads featuring games with NO in-app purchase...

NO IN-APP PURCHASES!

NO IN-APP PURCHASES!

I wish there was a way to turn off apps with in-app purchase so they don't even appear in the iTunes Store. I never download them.

   
• Freedom. If I ever have the opportunity to kick the ever-loving shit out of Donald Trump, please look at it NOT as a heinous act of violence, but as me making America great again.

   
And... it's too hot for more bullets. BS out!

   

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