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Bullet Sunday 366

Posted on February 2nd, 2014

Dave!Put down that foam finger, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Bowl! Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks for their massive Super Bowl win. I'm especially happy for long-time Seahawks fans who have kept the faith for so very long and have now had their devotion rewarded...

Seahawks Victorious!
Pete Carroll, 9/11 Truther and Seahawks Coach, celebrates! Photo by Charlie Riedel at the Associated Press

I'm less excited for all the fair-weather Hawks fans who are all too happy to shit all over Seattle when they're losing... but will still be celebrating "their" victory tonight.

   
• Twelfth! Personally, I think the whole "Twelfth Man" thing is annoying as shit, but there's no denying that it's become bigger than the team they're dedicated to supporting. This was made abundantly clear when a Boeing jet was taken out to draw a big "12" across Washington State...

Boeing Twelfth Man Plane Ride

It's the ultimate Etch-A-Sketch!

Though, I have to say that this huge display of fandom pales in comparison to this guy...

He's probably the only person happier about the Seahawks' victory than the actual Seahawks.

   
• Kitteh! Everybody knows about The Puppy Bowl... but did you know there's a KITTEN BOWL?!? I just finished watching the big game, featuring Meowshawn Lynch...

Kitteh Bowl at the Kitten Bowl!

Adorable. You can get more info at The Hallmark Channel.

   
• Cap! Holy cats does Captain America: Winter Soldier look frickin' amazing...

Thrilled to see The Falcon debut at last... would be even more thrilled if a black super-hero would get their own film. Hello? Black Panther? Luke Cage? Brother Voodoo!? And while I'm equally thrilled to see Black Widow making an appearance (which makes total sense because of The Winter Soldier)... where is her frickin' movie? Even if the film is a dud, at least we're finally getting to see S.H.I.E.L.D. at the high-tech kick-ass organization it is (as opposed to the embarrassment we've been getting from the lame-ass television show).

   
• Mine! I'm probably going to catch some crap for posting this... BUT IT'S JUST SO TRUE!

I've lost count of the number of times I've asked "Do you want something?" and am told "No!"... only to have my date/girlfriend EAT MY FOOD! Seriously, you said you didn't want any... SO KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF MY FRIES! Not that I can actually say that, but I want all the fries!

   
• LEGO! Okay... okay... I know I won't shut up over The LEGO Movie's impending release, but how can you blame me? The latest trailer is beyond awesome...

And...

Could Chris Pratt BE any more perfect for the role?

This may very well be the greatest movie ever made. I cannot wait to see it.

   
Annnnd... chocolate pudding time!

   

Bullet Sunday 363

Posted on January 12th, 2014

Dave!Grab onto those Golden Globes... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Seahawks! And so the Seahawks won their NFL Second Round Playoffs game against the Saints. Here in Washington State, it's kind of a big deal. And while I support the home team, of course, I'm not a rabid Seahawks fan, so it's more of a passive activity...

Dave and Bad Monkey Hawks Fans

But for most everybody else, it's a bit more obsessive than that...

Dave and Bad Monkey RABID Hawks Fans

It's important to note that quite a few of these fans are only fans when the Seahawks are doing well. When they're doing shitty, these same "fans" will be back to bitching about how much the "SeaChickens" suck.

All I know is that I wouldn't be caught dead at a Seahawks home game any more. The whole "12th Man" phenomena is just too crazy. The entire object of which seems to be to maintain Seattle's reputation of having the loudest fans on earth. Which is something to be proud of, I guess? Personally, I don't get it. Who wants to stand in the middle of a bunch of people screaming non-stop at the top of their lungs? Oh... die-hard Seahawks fans, that's who. Oh well. Good luck, Seahawks!

   
• Miyazaki! The Simpsons unleashed a wonderful, beautiful, amazing tribute to anime and Hayao Miyazaki in a recent episode. So cool...

Time to go watch Spirited Away for the hundredth time.

   
• Veronica! Two months. Two short months...

Veronica Mars Movie Poster

Yeah. I'm excited.

   
• WD-40! Don't you hate it when you're focused on your work when all of a sudden you find yourself thinking "Hey, what's the deal behind WD-40?" And "Why is WD-40 called WD-40 in the first place?" Then, unlike in the past when you'd just shrug your shoulders and go back to work, you instead waste 15 minutes getting caught in a Wikipedia black hole?

WD-40 Line-Up

In case you're wondering... WD-40 was a scientist's 40th attempt to create a Water Displacement formula to prevent corrosion in nuclear missiles. Personally, I would have lied and said it was my 43rd attempt, because WD-43 sounds a lot more fun. Which is important when you're talking about preventing nuclear missiles from corroding.

   
• Globes! Was very happy to see that Breaking Bad got some recognition. Great to see Jennifer Lawrence be her amazing self once again with her American Hustle win. Having Spike Jones win for Her just makes me want to see this film even more than I already did. And Amy Poehler and Tina Fey did a fantastic job hosting, as expected. The only two complaints I had were... A) Most of the award speeches were seriously bad, and B) The tribute to raging pervert Woody Allen had me wondering if everybody had forgotten how he HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HIS WIFE'S ADOPTED DAUGHTER, THEN MARRIED HER... and is STILL under suspicion for molesting one of his wife's other adopted daughters... WHEN SHE WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD! If everybody did forget, we have Woody Allen's son on Twitter to remind them...

Ronan's Woody Tweet

Not to mention the fact that I think all of Allen's movies are shit anyway.

   

And, there you have it. No more bullets for you.

   

Seahawks!

Posted on January 12th, 2013

Dave!Good luck tomorrow, guys!

Lil' Dave Says Go Seahawks

   

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Penis

Posted on January 14th, 2011

Dave!w00t! The Seattle Seahawks have made the Divisional Playoffs in the race for the SuperBowl!

Which is kind of crazy given their losing record of 7-9, but who am I to argue with the wacky rules of the NFL?

Anyway, Tacoma's Truman Middle School here in Washington State was having a "Seahawks Spirit Day" today, where students were allowed an exception from their mandatory dress code in order to wear a Seahawks jersey. If a student didn't wish to participate in the "Seahawks Spirit Day" festivities, they could just wear the regular school uniform.

One kid, who is a Pittsburgh fan, asked if he could wear a Steeler's jersey instead. He was told no, but did it anyway, then got sent home because of it.

And rightfully so.

I mean, you break the rules, you pay the price. That's the way life goes.

Even if it's a rule that's monumentally fucking stupid.

Let's break this down...

   
Let's say your choice is the same one given to the students at Truman. You can stick with the school uniform you wear every other day, OR you can wear a Seahawks jersey...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Uniform vs. Lil' Dave Seahawks

Well, if you're a Seahawks fan, then this is a no-brainer. Not only do you choose to wear the jersey, you do so gladly and with a smile on your face. If you're not a Seahawks fan... or not a football fan... or not a fan of team the colors... or whatever... you may or may not choose to wear the Seahawks jersey, depending on how much you hate the school uniform option.

But what if you are not a Seahawks fan?

What if you hate the Seattle Seahawks?

Well, then the choice is a no-brainer too. You don't wear the jersey no matter how much you dislike the school uniform, because the idea of supporting the Seahawks fills you with disgust. You'd rather die.

   
Let me try to put this in terms that non-fans can understand.

Giving a Seahawks-hater the choice between a school uniform and a Seahawks jersey is the same thing as giving somebody the choice between a school uniform and a pink bear hat with pink shoes, pink pants, and a pink shirt that says "I (heart) Pink"...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Uniform vs. Lil' Dave Pink Bear

   
Unless wearing something like that appeals to you, in which case it would be like giving somebody the choice between a school uniform and a hat with a giant penis on top with no pants and T-shirt which says "JUICY!" on it...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Uniform vs. Lil' Dave Penis Hat

In other words, no choice at all.*

And that's why the rule was so stupid. It was presented as if the students had a choice... but some of them weren't actually getting a choice. Not really.

If you're going to have a "Spirit Day" for NFL playoffs at school, then the students should be able to wear a jersey from ANY of the teams that are in the playoffs. It's just that simple. If football is "America's game" then anything less is pretty un-American when you stop and think about it.

And that just ain't right.

   


* If BOTH the pink bear hat uniform AND the penis hat uniform appeal to you, then there's really nothing I can do to explain this to you. Carry on.

   

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