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That’s So Yeti

Posted on September 19th, 2018

Dave!Uhhh... okayyyyyy...


Toad!

   

   

Penis

Posted on January 14th, 2011

Dave!w00t! The Seattle Seahawks have made the Divisional Playoffs in the race for the SuperBowl!

Which is kind of crazy given their losing record of 7-9, but who am I to argue with the wacky rules of the NFL?

Anyway, Tacoma's Truman Middle School here in Washington State was having a "Seahawks Spirit Day" today, where students were allowed an exception from their mandatory dress code in order to wear a Seahawks jersey. If a student didn't wish to participate in the "Seahawks Spirit Day" festivities, they could just wear the regular school uniform.

One kid, who is a Pittsburgh fan, asked if he could wear a Steeler's jersey instead. He was told no, but did it anyway, then got sent home because of it.

And rightfully so.

I mean, you break the rules, you pay the price. That's the way life goes.

Even if it's a rule that's monumentally fucking stupid.

Let's break this down...

   
Let's say your choice is the same one given to the students at Truman. You can stick with the school uniform you wear every other day, OR you can wear a Seahawks jersey...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Uniform vs. Lil' Dave Seahawks

Well, if you're a Seahawks fan, then this is a no-brainer. Not only do you choose to wear the jersey, you do so gladly and with a smile on your face. If you're not a Seahawks fan... or not a football fan... or not a fan of team the colors... or whatever... you may or may not choose to wear the Seahawks jersey, depending on how much you hate the school uniform option.

But what if you are not a Seahawks fan?

What if you hate the Seattle Seahawks?

Well, then the choice is a no-brainer too. You don't wear the jersey no matter how much you dislike the school uniform, because the idea of supporting the Seahawks fills you with disgust. You'd rather die.

   
Let me try to put this in terms that non-fans can understand.

Giving a Seahawks-hater the choice between a school uniform and a Seahawks jersey is the same thing as giving somebody the choice between a school uniform and a pink bear hat with pink shoes, pink pants, and a pink shirt that says "I (heart) Pink"...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Uniform vs. Lil' Dave Pink Bear

   
Unless wearing something like that appeals to you, in which case it would be like giving somebody the choice between a school uniform and a hat with a giant penis on top with no pants and T-shirt which says "JUICY!" on it...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Uniform vs. Lil' Dave Penis Hat

In other words, no choice at all.*

And that's why the rule was so stupid. It was presented as if the students had a choice... but some of them weren't actually getting a choice. Not really.

If you're going to have a "Spirit Day" for NFL playoffs at school, then the students should be able to wear a jersey from ANY of the teams that are in the playoffs. It's just that simple. If football is "America's game" then anything less is pretty un-American when you stop and think about it.

And that just ain't right.

   


* If BOTH the pink bear hat uniform AND the penis hat uniform appeal to you, then there's really nothing I can do to explain this to you. Carry on.

   

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