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Suck

Posted on October 31st, 2009

Dave!

DAVETOON MAC: I'm a Mac! PC: I'm a PC!

DAVETOON MAC: Is that your Halloween costume? PC: No. MAC: Then why are you dressed as a vampire?

PC: People say Windows couldn't suck any harder than it does, so I'm going to prove them wrong! MAC: And it shows!

DAVETOON MAC: I thought that's what Windows 7 was for? PC: It's no Vista, but we tried our best!

DAVETOON MAC: Happy Halloween everybody! PC: I vant to suck your productivity!

   

To see all of the Lil' Dave Mac vs. Lil' Wayne PC ads, click here!

   

Shop

Posted on July 17th, 2009

Dave!

DAVETOON: I'm a Mac. I'm a PC

I'm applying to be a "PC Moron" at the new Microsoft retail store!

Is that like a Mac Genius? Kind of. Except we don't have to know anything about computers...

We just yell "OUR STUFF IS CHEAPER THAN APPLE!" - Doesn't sound like a very good shopping experience.

It's all we've got. Have you ever heard "you get what you pay for?" No.

   

To see all of the Lil' Dave Mac vs. Lil' Wayne PC ads, click here!

   

   

Flames

Posted on May 20th, 2009

Dave!When you are following a car that's weaving down the middle of the road while going 10 miles under the speed limit... don't you owe it to society to run them off the road, rip off the car door, bitch-slap the driver really hard, then take a flamethrower to the whole mess?

If you agree, then would you please move into Chelan County right away? When my eventual trial comes up, it would be nice to have a jury of my peers who understand justifiable road rage. IF YOU OR YOUR VEHICLE IS INCAPABLE OF DRIVING THE SPEED LIMIT, THEN STAY OFF THE FUCKING ROAD!! All these people do is make things more dangerous for people who know how to drive.

Speaking of flame-throwers, I maintain that they are the solution to many of our problems, including PCs running Microsoft Windows Vista...
   

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Mac and Lil' Wayne PC

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave Mac takes a flamethrower to Lil' Wayne PC!

DAVETOON: Lil' Wayne PC is toast! "I totally deserve that."

And now I think I will be going to bed extra early so I can attempt to forget this terrible day.

To see all of the Lil' Dave Mac vs. Lil' Wayne PC ads, click here!

   

PC

Posted on May 19th, 2009

Dave!I hate Microsoft Windows.

I really, really, really, hate Microsoft Windows Vista.

And it's not because I'm a Mac Whore, or Bill Gates kicked my puppy, or I was attacked by Steve Balmer in a fit of monkey-induced rage... it's simply because Microsoft Windows Vista sucks ass. It is the steaming pile of shit upon which computer users beg for death. Every single time I use a PC running Vista, I have some kind of stupid problem which makes me enter a thermonuclear rage.

Fortunately, I don't have to use Vista very often. Otherwise, I would need to be institutionalized.

What pisses me off is that when Microsoft finally fixes their bullshit, I'm going to have to shell out more money to get the "Windows 7" upgrade. That is really fucked up. Microsoft should have to pay ME to upgrade as compensation for having to deal with their crap OS all this time...
   

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave is a Mac... Lil' Wayne is a PC!

DAVETOON: PC has a Blue Screen of Death crash!

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave can't find PC's reset button!

To see all of the Lil' Dave Mac vs. Lil' Wayne PC ads, click here!

And speaking of PC (as in Political Correctness), what the heck is going on over at Comedy Central? This morning I wanted to check out clips from Russell Brand's upcoming DVD, so I went to their "video section." I got distracted by a new email while the video was buffering, only to see a black man dancing around while eating fried chicken when I clicked back to Comedy Central again. Horrified at such a racist stereotype being offered up as "comedy," I immediately clicked to a different video link.

→ Click here to continue reading this entry...

   

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