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Unleashed!

Posted on October 9th, 2012

Dave!Today when I checked my grandmother's mail, a small DVD package fell out. The interesting thing about it was not that she doesn't own a DVD player to see it... but that it's a movie promising to fill you in on "what the future holds."

And what a future it is...

Revelation Unleashed!

I don't know about you, but I am totally stoked that the future is going to look like a heavy metal album cover! How fucking awesome is that? A bunch of cool stuff that doesn't even exist today is going to be coming soon!

  • Leopards running around with three extra heads and two pairs of wings stuck on!
  • Lions with wings that are way too small to ever lift their weight and fly, but look badass!
  • Bears running around with bloody ribs in their mouth!
  • And... here's the big one... DINOSAURS ARE BACK!!

Needless to say, I ran to my DVD player to pop this bad boy on my television. I didn't even make popcorn I was so excited.

Unfortunately, there were no dinosaurs and winged lions to be found. It's just a recording of a guy giving a sermon on the same world-ending Bible prophesies that people have been sermonizing for the past 2000 years ("No, seriously! This time it is REALLY happening!"). Having read The Bible and studied The Book of Revelation, I found the movie to be pretty boring, so I turned it off and watched The Avengers again. That movie is so kick-ass that I can't watch it enough times!

Which made me realize that they really should have gotten Josh Whedon to direct Revelation Unleashed. Maybe he would have put The Hulk and Iron Man in there to fight the bears, dinosaurs, lions, and leopards. And that future? I would totally watch that.

   

Day 03 – Sydney

Posted on September 25th, 2011

Dave!Today was finally my chance to take it easy, which meant visiting a few museums instead of walking all over Sydney again. Luckily Kazza was kind enough to head back into the city to map out my morning, so all I had to worry about was keeping dry until the rain finally let up this afternoon.

   
The Australian Museum is a massive repository of the critters which inhabit the continent. There's also a special exhibit for Aboriginal art that's pretty great...

Aboriginal Art

Aboriginal Art
The way Native Australians "see" the world is endlessly fascinating to me.

Seal vs. Penguin... FIGHT!
Seal vs. Penguin... FIGHT!

Scary Cat
Not a happy kitty. Probably a little upset about being shot and killed.

Snake in a Tree Branch
Most all the exhibits are dead, mounted, and stuffed... but there are some exceptions.

Dinosaurs Bones!
What would a museum be without dinosaurs?

Very Scary Dinosaur
A pity dinosaurs are extinct... some look like they'd make a fun pet.

Very Scary Spiders
Yeah, seeing one of these monsters would have me totally losing my shit.

Pretty Dead Butterflies
Not all the insects shown are some scary shit... just most of them.

Skeleton Sitting in a Chair Reading
Fun with dead people in the "Skeletons" exhibit.

Skeleton Man Riding a Skeleton Horse
Ride 'em cowboy. The most disturbing thing about this? No ears on the horse.

   
The Art Gallery New South Wales is a fairly traditional art museum with a smattering of impressive works by popular painters... but it also has a beautiful selection of Aboriginal art which makes it uniquely worth visiting (alas, none of it photographical)...

Art Museum Gallery
It's amazing how museums never seem to run out of paintings.

Realistic Ape Girl Statue
Ape Girl with scary hand monster. How charming.

Bat Baby Statue
Demon angel with bat wings, snake, and lizard. Rock on, little dude.

Dogs vs. Boar
Rabid Dog Pack vs. Wild Boar... FIGHT!

   
The National Opal Museum is a small exhibit which is mainly a front for an opal jewelry store, but it does still manage to give some insight into how opals are created and crafted...

Dinosaur in the Opal Museum
Apparently dinosaurs made the opals. Or became opals. Or something.

Dinosaur at the Opal Showcase
Now dinosaurs help you purchase beautiful opals from the many jewelry showcases!

Massive Opals in a Vault
Pretty! As in "pretty fucking expensive."

   
And thus an early end to my last day in Sydney. I was just too drenched and tired to do anything else. Maybe when I swing back this way I'll have some better weather.

   

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