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Dave10

Posted on December 31st, 2010

Dave!2010 -> AUDIO -> VIDEO -> DAVE

And now, at long last, comes that one entry for people who are curious as to what I've been up to, but only like to read one blog post a year. All-in-all, it was not a terrible end to the decade. Picking and choosing all the good stuff that happened in 2010 (out of a blog that is already picking and choosing all the good stuff) kind of makes me think it was a great year. Alas, I know better, as there were boatloads of crap I had to deal with that never end up at Blogography. Oh well. It's okay to pretend, isn't it?


JANUARY

• Realized the right tool for the job won't actually get me a free date with Elizabeth Hurley.

• Opened my big mouth and got the entire wine-connoisseur world pissed at me.

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave and Bad Monkey drink entirely too much wine.

• AND NOW, FROM THE BLOGGER WHO BROUGHT YOU PENIS SALAD...

• Found out that somebody stole my monkey.

Copycat Monkey!

Found a vagina on the sidewalk.


FEBRUARY

• Discovered that Canadians are responsible for the pussification of America, and showed them how REAL AMERICANS GET SHIT DONE!!

• Seattle FINALLY got a Hard Rock Cafe, and I got my 125th visit.

• Released my medical findings on a cure for the common cold to Twitter (and so much more).

Tweet01.gif


MARCH

• That Crasher Squirrel has been showing up everywhere...

Crasher Squirrel in Inglourious Basterds

• Just like Lindsay Lohan's cootchie...

Lohan Coochie

• Took my annual Birthday Vacation and ended up in Dutchyland, and Brussels, and Bucharest, and Transylvania, and Prague.

Prague at Night


APRIL

• Explained why Roger Ebert is WRONG about video games not being art.

Talked shit... LITERALLY.

• Attended THE blogging event of the year... TEQUILACON 2010 VANCOUVER!

Planning Posse


MAY

• Went to New York for a-ha's farewell tour and to hang out with awesome people while Betty White made her Emmy-winning SNL appearance.

Remembered a friend.

Got the tackiest phone call ever.

Took a dump on Lost and then went out for pizza with RW, which ended up having far-reaching consequences you'll find out about later this year.

• Summed up my position on the BP oil spill.

DAVETOON: Bad Monkey covers Lil' Dave in Oil


JUNE

• Saw the Worst. Movie. Ever.

• WAY TO GO BLACKHAWKS!!

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave in a Blackhawks Jersey

• Had more fun than should legally be allowed at Bitchsterdam 2!

Bitchsterdam Euro Celebration

Rush Limbaugh is a vile piece of shit.


JULY

Saw one of the best episodes of television ever (thank you Steven Moffat, The BBC, and Dr. Who!). I can honestly say that I think this is the only time I cried in all of 2010.

Van Gogh Meets Dr. Who!

Sarah Palin is a fucking idiot.

• Went on a tour of the USA with stops in Hollywood, San Diego for Comic Con, and Atlanta for Watermelon Beer, and Tulsa, and Kansas, and Chicago.


AUGUST

• Explained to haters who don't like being referred to as a hater that they kind are.

Paid a visit to mah Hilly-Sue and FooDiddy in Sacramento.

Got a visit from Muskrat and Whit in Seattle.

• Was inspired beyond my ability to express by the final words of a legend.

Satoshi Kon


SEPTEMBER

• Took a Mediterranean vacation and saw such remarkable places as Barcelona, and Malta, and Tunisia, and The Amalfi Coast, and Rome, and Portofino, and Corsica, and Monaco. As if all that wasn't enough, I got to have breakfast with Mickey Mouse!

Dave2 and Mickey!

• Remembered The Golden Rule and became the biggest evil dumbass inhuman monster of them all.


OCTOBER

Nearly crapped myself watching a television show.

DAVETOON: Oh Shit! Oh Shit! Oh Shit!

Partied down in rural Wisconsin... a good place to be!

Put Your Hands Up!

Got all poitical for a minute.

Wore purple for a very important cause...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave and Bad Monkey in Purple

• Went to Albuquerque to gamble away my money at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino there.

• Found out my iPhone can take some pretty decent photos if I bother to stop and look around because there's an app for that...

Wenatchee River Fall Colors


NOVEMBER

• Went back to Atlanta, this time for Pumpkin Beer and good friends... then a tour of THE WALKING DEAD!

• Took a look at porn and handjobs in the interest of airport security.

DAVETOON: TSA says okay! You're good to go!


DECEMBER

Got into the CALM Act...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave getting blasted with a hemorrhoid commercial

• Want to know where to go on vacation? Here are some of my suggestions!.

"Take your stupid war and go fuck yourself with it."

Took some pictures in the snow.

Snowy Cemetery at Night

• Took on stupid bitches and the law, and went ape-shit over net-neutrality, and was shocked as hell by a moment of lucidity from Pat Robertson.


   
And that was pretty much what happened with me in 2010. How about you?

Hope your 2011 is a good one, and thanks for reading!

   

Retrospective

Posted on December 31st, 2009

Dave!It's the easiest blog post of the year, when I get to re-visit all my entries for the past 365 days and see just how pointless and futile my life really is! Much like last year, a lot of my time was spent traveling. I racked up 164,000 air miles on seven airlines. Unlike last year, I had only minimal flight delays and cancellations, which was a pleasant surprise.

And now the traditional random Blogography snippets of crap from the year that was 2009...


JANUARY

Admitted I have a Twitter addiction.

Goofed around at SeaWorld with mah Hilly-Sue in San Diego, where we rode the Buckets of Death, learned to BELIEVE, and joined the cult of Shamu the whale...

Dave and Hilly BELIEVE!
Seriously, how cute are we in this photo?

Was traumatized when Ms. Sizzle and I were sexually assaulted by Etta James at her Seattle concert.


FEBRUARY

Was nearly brought to tears at the Nazi Documentation Museum in Cologne, Germany.

Traveled to the beautiful island of Mallorca in Spain to visit the new Hard Rock Cafe there and see the sights...

Looking towards the Palma Cathedral at night

Revealed ten honest things about me.

Suffered from my drug abuse.

Said goodbye to a friend and learned what is really important...

Dave and Lisa


MARCH

Disapproved of First Lady Michelle Obama's wardrobe choices...

Michelle Obama Bad Weave

Spent a weekend goofing off in Seattle with my BFF Vahid.

Re-lived my life as one of the Spice Girls...

Had an absolute blast meeting up with friends in Davedon...

Davedon Group

Experienced the "magic" of Stonehenge...

Glowing Rays on Stonehenge!

Back to my favorite city on earth... Davenburgh!

Had the worst airport layover in the history of airport layovers.


APRIL

More blogger meet awesomeness at Dave York...

Dawg, Poppy, Earl.
Dawg and Poppy with B.E. Earl.

Dave York 2!
Robin, Libragirl, B.E. Earl, Me, and Cissa!

Tried my hand at some inappropriate Broadway reviews.

Reveled in the glory that is TequilaCon Santa Fe...

TQ2009 Planning Posse Boots


MAY

Expressed my disappointment with the current state of Cracker Jack prizes.

Explained a problem with my MASSIVE NOZZLE.

Gave a behind-the-scenes look at the Blogography Show when Whall was a guest...

Lil' Wayne Hall enters the stage...

Took a trip to Savannah, Georgia and visited the magnificent Bonaventure Cemetery.

Released the most important iPhone app ever...

Ask Dave! App Ad

Visited mah Hilly-Sue in her new home of Orlando where we got to be pirates and then go see Jesus at The Holy Land Experience.

Started up the Lil' Dave and Lil' Wayne MAC VS. PC cartoons...

DaveToonMacPC.gif

Told ignorant asshole Paul Marx of the Baltimore Sun to go fuck himself.


JUNE

Attended the spectacular ConFab blogger event in Lexington, Kentucky.

Debuted Baby Dave and Naughty Monkey for a guest-post on Anissa's blog...

Baby Dave and Naughty Monkey


JULY

Finally saw Duran Duran in concert with my sister.

Took a look at my wild-and-crazy days of youth...

Alcoholics Not-Anonymous Here We Come!

Revealed the secret of How to Blog the Blogography Way.

Joined in on Blogathon 2009 where I live-blogged new DaveToons every half-hour to benefit Doctors Without Borders.

Had the opportunity of a lifetime when I went to see Hayao Miyazaki speak in L.A. with blogging buddy Howard from The Web Pen Blog.


AUGUST

Ah, the wonder of exploring the biggest rock in the world and the joy of attending Davelanta3...

Everybody except Julie at Davelanta 3

Explained the Love Equality Formula and said NOH8 the best way I know how...

DAVETOON: NO H8

Had the adventure of a lifetime when I guest-posted at Puntabulous...

Super Viagra and Vagina Girl

Gave evidence as to why I was the most adorable baby ever.

Another fantastic blogger meet, this time at Daveorado...

Daveorado

Got to see my favorite band ever, Depeche Mode, in Salt Lake City with WarpedGirl 16 and Marty from Banal Leakage!


SEPTEMBER

Hit Las Vegas with the TequilaCon Planning Posse for event planning, debauchery, and ELVIS...

TequilaCon 2010 Planning Committee with Elvis

Took an amazing cruise to Alaska where I walked on a glacier, then went rafting with eagles, and ended up hiking with bears...

Lazy Bear

Got to see one of my favorite bands, the Pet Shop Boys, at their Seattle concert.

Explored my virtual career path...

Astronaut Dave!


OCTOBER

Just one word: pooferflargen.

And then there was the life-altering experience of attending Bitchsterdam...

Bitchsterdam Group

Showed off my HUGE package.

Said my peace on equality.

Finally got to see the adorable spawn of The Bombshell and The Ninja in SoCal.

Could there possibly be anything better than three days at Disney World with mah Hilly-Sue?

Dave & Hilly on Big Thunder at Walt Disney World

I dunno. But swimming with dolphins with Robyn and Rachel comes close...

Swimming with Dolphins

And so does a wild night at Avitaween and non-stop pussy...

Avtaween 2009 T-Shirt Design

Went Hard Rock Cafe hopping in Washington DC and Baltimore.


NOVEMBER

Learned the Tao of Bullshit with Josherz...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave drops his ice cream cone. THIS IS BULLSHIT!

Made some tentative plans for 2012...

DAVETOON: VOTE DAVE 2012

Back to Atlanta for time with friends and Freestylin' Coke.


DECEMBER

Not a lot, really. I did write this massive blog entry though.


   
And that was 2009. Everybody have a safe and happy New Year as we head into 2010, and thanks for reading!

   

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