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An Ode to Reality

Posted on Monday, July 22nd, 2019

Dave!I was awakened by leg cramps so painful this morning that I honestly think I passed out screaming. I don't remember. I just know that when I was awakened by the alarm to feed the cats, I could barely walk. The rest of my day was spent downing painkillers in an attempt to be able to work.

This is not a good time to be incapacitated. I've been trying to get ready for my impending travel and there's a strict schedule of events that needs to occur...

  1. Start eating all food that will expire while I'm gone. (1 week prior).
  2. Make sure there's nothing I need to order for the trip (3 working days prior).
  3. Clean the house (and refrigerator) so I don't return to a mess (2 days prior).
  4. Run the dishwasher and clothes washer (1 day prior).
  5. Pack a suitcase (1 day prior).
  6. Charge a spare external battery for my iPhone (1 day prior).
  7. Fill the cat feeder and make sure the time and schedule is correct (1 day prior).
  8. Change my bedsheets (1 day prior).
  9. Empty Litter-Robots and fill cat fountain and feeder (day of).
  10. Set all cloud security cameras to "permanent on" (day of).
  11. Set local security cameras to "permanent on," check the battery backups, and verify hard drive space (day of).
  12. Verify all security system sensors and alarms are armed (as I leave).

When I got home from work today I tried to pack my suitcase but my right leg is still having random spasms, so I thought I'd just give it a rest for a while. Besides, packing is so much more fun when you are throwing everything together as you're rushing out the door, isn't it?

Probably not, but that's reality for you.

I've been thinking a lot about reality lately.

Not reality-reality, but the carefully-constructed "reality" that's been crafted for idiots which the rest of us are forced to live in. I think what got my brain working on the subject was a map that I saw hanging up while I was waiting for a friend to get her hair cut last week...

RELIEF-LIKE MAP OF THE WORLD!

I found it fascinating that they had to put a disclaimer in the title informing you that, while it may look as though it's a "relief map"... it is, in fact, not a relief map but, in fact, a relief-LIKE map.

Which is to say that whatever "relief" you are experiencing from looking at this map is artificially induced. There's no actual depth to it. Things just look that way because it's painted to produce the illusion of depth.

Which begs the question... why the fuck did they need to explain this? Were the relief-map-making companies incensed that people might get confused and accidentally buy a "relief-like" map instead of an actual "relief" map as they intended?

You may laugh at that, but you shouldn't.

Remember a while back when I mentioned that Mississippi is making it a jailable offense to call non-meat-based burgers "veggie burgers?" This is a primary example of creating a reality which caters to the lowest common denominator. People too stupid to comprehend that a "veggie burger" isn't made from beef... almond milk doesn't come from a cow... and a map with no physical depth isn't a "relief map."

I'd weep for the future but, reality is, the future is now.

I don't mind living in the future, I just wish it wasn't this one.

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Categories: DaveLife 2019, News – Politics 2019Click To It: Permalink
   

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