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Hoarders

Posted on Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

Dave!I think I might have a problem.

I loathe Reality Television, but find myself watching it anyway. Well, selectively watching it. Most of it is total shit and filled with stupid drama I would never want in my own life... let alone to watch for entertainment. But there is gold to be found in the manure pile.

For me, it basically breaks down to four shows...

Reality Television Roundup!

  • Survivor. The original Reality TV show, and one of the few I've continued to watch. Much to the producer's credit, they are always trying new things to keep the show interesting and fresh. Sometimes the drama goes too far, but I enjoy the competitions and challenges.
  • Top Chef. I love food and cooking. I love competition. How could I not like this show? Unfortunately, they let the cooking take a backseat to drama in Season 2... but listened to fan complaints and got back on track in Season 3. BONUS: Padme Lakshmi... seriously one of the hottest women alive.
  • Project Runway. I'm not much into fashion, but love creativity and competition, so I enjoy this show. The contestants they get for Runway are by far the most entertaining of any show. BONUS: Heidi Klum... seriously one of the hottest women alive, and Tim Gunn... seriously one of the coolest people alive.
  • On the Road with Austin and Santino. A spin-off from Project Runway featuring two of the most interesting people ever to compete on the show. I avoided it for the longest time, but recently "discovered" it and now can't get enough. Fashion designers Austin Scarlet and Santino Rice travel the country making special dresses for some special ladies in some remarkable circumstances. Highly entertaining (and even a bit touching from time to time!) it's (surprisingly) one of the better shows on television. Seriously.

Okay then... one television program you do NOT see on my list is Hoarders, a show which focuses on the truly sick and sad world of "compulsive hoarders" (people who cannot throw anything away, and accumulate massive piles of crap and filth). The show has absolutely NO appeal to me, and the idea of watching scene after scene of freaky shit like this makes me want to vomit...

Hoarders Horror!

Hoarders Horror!

Hoarders Horror!

Until this past weekend when I realized I AM TOTALLY A HOARDER!

At least when it comes to old computers, electronics, and (especially) cables...

Dave Cables

I would have taken a photo but, to be honest, I'm just too embarrassed.

But realizing you have a problem is the first step of recovery, so I threw out TWO HUGE GARBAGE BAGS worth of old cables. Some of them were easy to toss out... like old parallel printer cables and SCSI cables for which have no use, as I don't own any devices which use them any more. Others were more difficult... like USB and power cables which are perfectly good, but I have dozens (hundreds?) of them. The worst offenders were stereo RCA cables and phone line cables, which nearly filled an entire bag all their own. And yet, I have no idea how I got so many of them in the first place. I probably just got in the habit of grabbing them any time somebody had them left over or something, and they just piled up over the years.

The old computers and electronics, however, I can't bring myself to toss.

I have eleven old computers (mostly Atari brand) complete with peripherals that are just too awesome to be destroyed. Including an original Macintosh (still works!) and two Apple Newton models (still work!) and Atari 2600, ColecoVision, & Atari Lynx game systems (all working!)... among many others. Odds are, I will never seriously use them. But they are an important part of my computer and video game loving past, and I just can't bear to part with them. So back into storage they go.

So yes, I am a hoarder. Of a sort.

But it can't make me relate to the reality television show of the same name any easier, nor make me want to watch it.

Thank heavens. Isn't four of them enough?

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Comments

  1. Sorata says:

    Oh, I can totally visual this…

    Therapist Mindy: So, Dave2, today we are going to help you clean. You are going to sort these things in 3 piles – keep, throw away, undecide

    Dave2: Okay

    Therapist Mindy: How about this 2Mb USB drive?

    Dave2: NOOOO!!! *grab from Mindy’s hand* I need it when I make extremely low-res images.

    Therapist Mindy: Okay… maybe the undecide pile then for now. How about this 10 inches cable?

    Dave2: NOOOO!!! *snitch from Mindy’s hand* I need it when I hook the computer very close to the phonejack when I use this 14 years old dial-up modem.

    Therapist Mindy: …… well, then this toothpick used by Elizabeth Hurley can surely go into the tras…

    *Dave2 grabs baseball bat*

  2. I like Gene Simmons Family Jewels for the simple fact he puts emphasis on hard work to get you ahead in life. Plus I love KISS!! Tim Gunn is awesome though….

    We collect co-ax cable for some reason….. how we need 50 miles of co-ax I’ll never know.

  3. RW says:

    Top Chef and Runway are the only regular shows I watch outside of football. I’m eclectic that way.

    BTW- this Saturday I’m going to Top Chef Season 4 winner’s restaurant here in Chicago “Girl and the Goat”. Stephanie Izard finally got it going this spring. Pics to follow!

  4. kapgar says:

    The concept of Hoarders makes me want to hurl, too. But I actually did watch it once. And fought back the gag reflex the whole time.

  5. muskrat says:

    I haven’t watched any of these shows before, but I hear they’re good. I’m taking the Mrs to Woodfire Grill this Friday, because the dude there was on that TV show or something. I learned about said dude and his restaurant at a blogging conference a couple months ago, which is how I typically find out about what’s on TV (that, and twitter)!

  6. Lisa says:

    I used to love Project Runway. I’m not sure why I stopped watching. I think it was just a time thing. The episodes would sit too long in the DVR and never get watched.

    Hoarders freaks me right out. I had no idea there were SO MANY hoarders. I thought it was a rather rare thing, so knowing there are enough to support not one but two TV shows is just sad. I only watched it a couple of times before I couldn’t anymore.

  7. Tracie says:

    You and my husband need to talk. He’s got the same problem. For him, it’s old Commodore 64’s and Amiga’s. He used to have an Atari or two in there somewhere. Plus 500 hard drives, 1000 cd roms, at least 200 keyboards, etc.

    I might be exaggerating a little… And he did just weed out a bunch of it this past weekend. I think being a geek requires you to save all that stuff?

  8. Ren says:

    I’ve managed to get rid of a few computers (though one of those came back), but my Amiga 1000 is boxed up in the closet with no intention of going anywhere. And, honestly, I don’t know why. What am I ever going to do with it?

    We had a garage sale recently where we sold several of my old game systems. Or maybe it was just two: N64 and SNES. I’m glad that my wife just sort of put them in the sale without me having to make a decision about it. I probably agreed at some point, but I certainly never put much thought into it. It’s better that way. 🙂

  9. hdw says:

    Sometimes, Hoarders will be on in the background while I’m doing something else around here. It’s absolutely appalling – but I’ll say this much: I have a serious urge to clean out my things after seeing an episode. It might be disgusting (actually, IS), but it inspires me to get rid of stuff in the storage room.

  10. Becky says:

    No, no, no, you are NOT a horder, you are a *collector*. There is the difference. Learn it, know it, claim it. Live it.

    You’re welcome.

  11. Donna says:

    We’re addicted to that damned show…maybe because when we got this house it was pretty much a scaled down version of a hoarder house. My SIL is a filthy, disgusting person.

    I don’t know if it’s considered a reality show, but my other TV addiction is Monsters Inside Me which creeps me out so much it’s not even funny. Some people are terrified by Paranormal Activity. I find Monsters Inside Me way more nightmare inducing. I also freely admit to watching I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant more than once too.

  12. ssp says:

    I just love how the box at the bottom left in the first Hoarder photo says ‘Joseph K.’. Stupid coincidence or carefully planted there?

  13. adena says:

    Oh, I totally watch Hoarders. It’s a complete train wreck, and I am horrified and disgusted most shows, but I WILL say that I go on a huge cleaning spree after every show. So, it’s good for my apartment!

  14. Survivor is one of the two reality TV shows we watch. The Amazing Race being the other one.

  15. Four reality TV shows is about 3.9999999 too many.

  16. martymankins says:

    Hoarding cables is a different, more frustrating experience.

    My first Mac was the Fat Mac in 1985. Sadly, I don’t have it. I do still have my Umax PowerPC from 1997, which still boots OS 9.1 (albeit very slowly)

    And yes, Padma is hot. Hard to believe she was married to one of the world’s ugliest guys (Salmon Rushdie).

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