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DAY ONE: SeaTac International

Posted on Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

Dave!The drive over to SeaTac was excruciating. It always is any more. I spend most of the trip screaming my head off because too many stupid people are doing too many stupid things and my rage goes into overload. Morons driving ten miles under the speed limit. Idiots wandering all over the road (probably texting). Dumbasses cutting in front of me. It goes on and on.

But the biggest offense, by far is fucktards driving in the passing lane, as I've mentioned a couple times before...

Exactly how difficult is it for dumbass motorists to comprehend signs like these...

Keep Right Except to Pass!

I mean, it's pretty self-explanatory. If you are not passing anybody, DON'T FUCKING DRIVE IN THE LEFT-HAND PASSING LANE!! And yet every damn time I have to drive to Seattle, I inevitable run into idiots who either can't comprehend this, or just don't care. I am of the serious opinion that if you have to pass one of these fuckers on the right-hand side, you should be allowed to follow them home, firebomb their car, and then impale them... by shoving the sign pole up their stupid ass...

Fuck passing lane drivers

Seriously. If you won't obey the law and learn how to drive properly, then get the hell off the road.

And my travels have only just begun...

DaveTour USA 2010 Map

If this is only Day One and I'm this uptight, I can't imagine what I'm going to be like when I finally return home.

Probably homicidal. Certainly insane. And there's a 50-50 chance of an armageddon-level event along the way, I'm sure.

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Categories: Travel 2010Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. whitenoise says:

    George travels so smoothly in “Up In The Air”… too bad it’s a fictional story, I’d love to be that unruffled all the time. (I’d also like to have that executive bitch he meets as my plaything, but that’s another issue entirely.)

  2. Barnmaven says:

    I don’t mind most of the drive over the mountain – except right outside of Ellensburg when it seems to be a rule of the universe that one semi will pass another semi right in front of me halfway up the big hill, thereby ensuring that my four cylinders aren’t going to get me anywhere close to the speed limit before I’m over the top. The construction slowdowns at the pass are tolerable, but once I hit Issaquah my stress meter goes off the charts. Hard to believe that after being a city dweller since my early 20’s and blithely handling places like Philly and NYC a few short years ago, and now Seattle freaks me out.

    Good luck with your travels. I hope its all relatively painless.

  3. muskrat says:

    this picture makes my ass pucker a bit.

  4. Steve in NH says:

    Okay, I’m just gonna come out and say it: the cartoon with the signpost up the butt is kinda….cute. Definitely very funny. Not sure if it’s Dave’s non-plussed look or the incongrously mild disappointment of the victim that slays me more. Wicked funny.

  5. Finn says:

    Is the blue part where you’re going or the gray part? Because the gray part looks like a middle finger, which would be completely appropriate.

  6. martymankins says:

    We sign-challenged drivers here in Utah, too. So I know the frustration. I call them speed police, since they tend to drive 2-3 miles under the speed limit in the far left lane, preventing the flow of traffic, but ensuring they will sleep at night knowing they forced others to obeying the law.

  7. Jon says:

    Commuters seem to “do it right” but most everyone else on the road is a moron. Holiday shopping season is the worst.

  8. Peter says:

    Love the ‘signpost up the butt’ cartoon, it sums up your feelings.

  9. A. Lewis says:

    Believe me, I get it! I am a crazy person on the road — and if I’m not cussing them out verbally outloud, I’m definitely doing it inside. Always. I hate people. Well, drivers for sure.

  10. delmer says:

    I was driving north out of Seattle and kept getting passed by a guy who was texting. He’d pass in the fast lane, slow as he texted and I’d pass him, he’d pass, then slow again. After I figured out what he was up to I hung back until he exited. I imagine he was texting something like, “Am on my way to a crash. Start dinner without me.”

  11. Michelle M. says:

    Only you could make a pole up the butt look so damn adorable.

  12. Beth says:

    Wow, a butt cartoon….I like it, it’s cute…too bad it’s not attached to a cute scenario! Hope things get better for you over here on the other side, but that would just be a silly fantasy. We’ve got more than our fair share of driving fucktards….pack your pole!!!!

    Gah, can’t believe I’m gonna missssss you!!! 🙁

  13. Sybil Law says:

    I feel your pain…

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