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13/20: WRONG + Bullet Sunday 190

Posted on Sunday, July 4th, 2010

Dave!Hooray! It's a Bullet Sunday dedicated to three people I loathe on this Independence Day!

   
• Larry. One of the single worst interviewers on the planet, Larry King, has announced he's retiring. I have never, ever, understood his appeal. Every time I've seen one of his shows, I'm left wondering if he even knows who he's interviewing, since half the time he seems completely bewildered as to whom he's talking to. As if that wasn't enough, he's always looked like some kind of pervy alien to me...

Larry King the Alien

Here's hoping that Larry's replacement is somebody who's worth a shit. If CNN is going to get all the interesting people to interview, it would be nice if the actual interviews weere worth watching.

   
• Night. If there were ever an example of somebody who started with a bang, then faded to ridiculousness with an even bigger bang, it would be M. Night Shyamalan. Even though I figured out the "twist" in The Sixth Sense well before the reveal, I still enjoyed the film... mostly because of the performances which were terrific all the way around (in particular Toni Collette, who totally sold her unsellable character). I didn't necessarily think Shyamalan was genius for it, but I did think there was some talent there. Then came Unbreakable, which was a film I loved. I loved the story. I loved the performances. Sure there were some spots that did their best to sabotage the ideals of a non-super-hero super-hero film, but it was a good movie, right up until that awesome reveal at the end that is dropped on you like a bomb by Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson being all amazing and stuff...

Samuel L. Jackson Unbreakable

Bruce Willis Unbreakable

Unfortunately, every single thing that M. Night Shyamalan has released after this film has been stupid as shit. Signs? Stupid, nonsensical shit. The Village? Stupid, predictable shit. Lady in the Water? Stupid, self-indulgent shit. The Happening? Stupid, stupid, STUPID shit. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson after The Village, but I keep going back for reasons even I don't understand.

Until now. Because Shyamalan's latest film is based on Avatar: The Last Airbender, which is one of my most favorite cartoons ever...

Avatar The Last Airbender

There is no way I am going to watch as something I care for so much is utterly destroyed by Night's hackery. And, not that I really needed to go there, but the pitiful 8% Fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes only confirms that it's yet another stupid as shit film in a chain of stupid as shit films. Netflix has the REAL Avatar on Watch-It-Now, so I'll just watch that instead. What is it going to take for movie studios to stop giving M. Night Shyamalan millions of dollars to crank out more crap films? Aren't there other filmmakers out there more deserving?

   
• Mel. I find it scary that Mel Gibson has turned into the very racists he made fun of while playing Riggs in Lethal Weapon 2...

Mel Gibson is Crazy

Mel Gibson Big Smile

Unfortunately, I'm quite sure that racist tirades like Mel's recent N-word meltdown are anything but rare. Reprehensible stuff like this goes on all the time behind closed doors of all races, religions, and creeds. But Mel Gibson's celebrity status has made him somebody with influence, and this is not the kind of crap that deserves the spotlight. Hopefully these repeated offenses will be enough to bury the asshole back to obscurity.

   
• 20/20. Today's word in the TWENTY/TWENTY meme is "wrong."

Something that I've always thought is very wrong is when restaurants and butcher shops use happy animals to advertise their meats. Which basically means that the animals are inviting you to eat them... like in Restaurant as the End of the Universe. The cutest suicidal animals are in Asia...

Eat Me Cow and Pig

And I don't think this needs any explanation...

Gummy Bacon

   
And now, before I go, something mostly right...

Monkeyflag

Happy 234th Birthday, USA!

Tags:
Categories: Bullet Sunday 2010, Memes 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Kailyn says:

    Wait a minute. Night made more movies after “The Village”? I am shocked on many levels. I too figured out “The Sixth Sense” before the reveal but I loved it nonetheless. And I’ve always thought that “Unbreakable” has been underrated and ignored. After that it was all downhill. The last one I saw was “The Village.” What a letdown. I won’t even discuss “Signs” that manages to bring together two items on your list. I hate cable TV for showing it periodically. No one should be subjected to this movie.

    And now I must go to figure out how to wipe this stuff from my mind. Thanks. Unlike a song, I now have audio and videoi in an endless horrid looping my mind. For this reason alone, no one should see “Signs” or later for fear they should have to relive it at a later date.

    • Dave2 says:

      Be very, very glad that you didn’t see “The Happening” which has to be one of the most absurdly stupid movies yet filmed.

      Of course, I haven’t seen “Last Airbender” so that’s an unqualified statement. 🙂

  2. muskrat says:

    Deb likes to take pictures of happy pigs that advertise for BBQ restaurants. We thinks it’s funny (though a bit twisted).

  3. Winter says:

    You cannot go wrong with a graphic of Bad Monkey to end a post. Evah. 😉

  4. Badger says:

    I stopped after The Village, too, but I have to admit that I sort of loved Signs. Not the premise, but … I dunno, Joaquin Phoenix kind of sold it for me.

    Oh, and that Gummy Bacon? I own a package of that. No lie. I’m not going to EAT it, though (unless I get really drunk).

    • Dave2 says:

      I thought “Signs” was absurd. It was a half-baked re-imagining of War of the Worlds, but with a much worse endgame. Aliens so damn stupid that they don’t protect themselves from an abundant substance that’s lethal to them, yet have technology to cross the galaxy is pretty stupid.

      That being said, I have to agree that Joaquin Phoenix was good in it. Mostly because he is good in just about EVERYTHING! I still feel to this day that “Gladiator” would have failed with a lesser actor in the non-critical throw-away role of Commodus. And don’t even get me started about his genius portrayal of The Man in Black in “Walk the Line.” The guy has serious acting skills and can sell just about any role. Unfortunately, he wasn’t enough to salvage “Signs” which was just too much FAIL! to be overcome by anybody. 🙁

  5. Sybil Law says:

    Mel Gibson is crazy?!!

  6. kapgar says:

    Funny that I never made that connection to the LW2 South Africa racism sequences. Never even dawned on me. Clearly the sign of a good actor, eh? 😉

    This should kill you, but I’d read online (and I pray it’s false) that Larry King wants Ryan Seacrest as his replacement. Dunno where I read it and I really don’t care to look it up as I cannot stand anything with Seacrest attached to it. But I thought you’d like to know.

    • Dave2 says:

      This actually makes perfect sense. If I were Larry King and didn’t want my shitty legacy to be eclipsed, I’d look far and wide to find somebody even less talented than I am to take my place. Ryan Seacrest? A flawless choice, if this is your goal.

  7. Tracy Lynn says:

    I haven’t seen a Shmayalan movie since Sixth Sense, but I’m going to see Airbender, because even though the critics are hating it, every person I know who has seen it loves it. And since I LOVE LOVE LOVE the cartoon, I am intrigued.

  8. Unbreakable was Night’s finest hour. It’s really the only one that I can re-watch. Sixth Sense was good the first watch only. Once you know the reveal it scores about a zero on the re-watchability scale. Mind you, what do I know, I liked Signs and The Village 😉 I’ve skipped everything of his since then mind you. Last Airbender will be no exception there. I read it didn’t do that badly at the box office this weekend. I wonder how disappointed everyone was as they left the theater?

    And Gibson? Christ what an asshole.

  9. noraisins says:

    I can’t understand the happy animal pictures either. One of the grocery stores in my area put huge happy stuffed animals (cows & HORSES!) in their meat section and there is a meat delivery company that has a image of a lobster, chicken, & a cow hugging and smiling. It is just wrong.

  10. Sarah says:

    My ex-friend loved Signs. I remember because I had no interest in watching it and she brought it over and was like “OMG BEST MOVIE EVER.”

    Then I watched it. Our friendship didn’t survive long after that.

  11. y not i says:

    If you ever turn that graphic of Bad Monkey with the flag into a t-shirt I will definitely buy one (or more)!!

  12. delmer says:

    I’d hoped the drunken encounter with Sugar Tits a couple of years ago was caused by, well, the drunkeness. Apparently not.

  13. whitenoise says:

    Obviously I don’t watch enough movies…

    belated happy America Day, Dave.

  14. martymankins says:

    “The Six Sense” was brilliant.
    “Unbreakable” was unwatchable (at least for me.. I do plan to rewatch it at some point to see if it takes hold).
    “Signs” was “meh”
    “The Village” had some good moments.
    “The Happening” was actually ok. Not great, not horrible.
    Never saw “The Lady in the Water”

    As for Mel Gibson, he’s a mother fucking racist idiot. He needs to go take his “Passion” money and just disappear from the public eye.

    Happy 4th of July to you.

  15. kilax says:

    I totally agree with you about Shyamalan. We thought Lady in the Water was so bad we looked up what it was based on… some story he used to tell his kids. He thought it was good enough to make in to a movie. It wasn’t.

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