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McPie

Posted on Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

Dave!I've been thinking a lot about pie recently.

It all started when I went through the McDonald's drive-thru last week and wanted something to eat with my French fries. As I read through the menu looking for non-meat options, I landed on the McDonald's apple pie and felt my heart sink. McDonalds' apple pie sucks ass. Compared to my grandmother's apple pie, all apple pies suck ass... but McDonald's is a new low in apple pie suckage. Especially since they switched to their awful "baked" pies in 1992. Prior to that, their pies at least had the benefit of a crispy goodness that can only come from deep-fat-frying.

I ended up getting a OREO Cookie McFlurry with my fries because I just couldn't handle the disappointment.

But my longing for deep-fried fast-food pie has lingered.

Mostly because I know that most foreign countries have McDonalds that serve fried pies. I've had fried McPie in Hong Kong, France, Italy, Japan, Ireland, Spain, and other countries too. Never mind that McDonalds was Made in America, foreign countries get the good pie.

Why Americans suffer in silence.

BUT I CAN BE SILENT NO MORE! I WANT FRIED McPIE BACK IN AMERICA!!

DAVETOON: Bad Monkey with a McDonald's Fried Pie.

I don't care about health care reform or tax spending or national debt or any of that long-term crap anymore. All I care about is fried McPies for the American people NOW.

I realize that McDonald's probably started baking their pies out of some kind of misguided attempt to create something healthier to eat... but people don't go to McDonalds to eat healthy, and they certainly don't order pie for the health benefits. So let's cut all the pretentious bullshit and people what they want.

McDonalds owes us that much.

McDonalds owes us fried McPie.

Tags: , , ,
Categories: DaveLife 2010, DaveToons 2010, Food 2010Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Christine says:

    You need to come to Australia then where the Macca’s apple pies are still deep fried. I think they’re disgusting though. Your baked version sounds so much better.

  2. Don’t know if you have them where you are, but here we have these little drive thru’s called Checkers and they still serve fried pies! Every once in a great while I’ll ignore my Celiac’s and go get one. Also, Taco Bell’s Caramel Apple Empanadas are close to the taste you’re looking for too!

    What’s that you say? How do I know this? Uh……. lucky guess? No no… I listen to my doctor about not eating gluten, yeah…. that’s the ticket….

  3. Zuhdi Abdelkarim says:

    Here in Dubai, McDonalds serves the McPie fried. Burger King does the same. The one problem is that barely anyone likes it here so lately some of the McDonald’s around here have been taking the Pie off of the menus! Can you image a pie-less country!?

  4. christie says:

    I didn’t know there was anything delicious on the menu at McDonalds… hehe

  5. Amanda says:

    Every McDonald’s and Burger King I went to in Ireland and England had fried cheeseballs, too. That’s something else you could eat

  6. Beth says:

    You can get your fried pie at THE VARSITY! Peach or Apple with a side trip to Grady Hospital for chest pain. Sounds like a plan for July…..

  7. Sybil Law says:

    I WANT FRIED PIE, TOO!

    That’s so my mantra for the day. 🙂

  8. Finn says:

    Man, I haven’t had a fried McPie since the 80’s. Yet another reason to travel abroad.

  9. Michelle says:

    I gotta admit I’ve had McDonald fried pie cravings too. You can buy fried pie at plenty of places. They just don’t taste as good as I remember Mcdonald’s pies tasting.

  10. martymankins says:

    In Hawaii, they had a pineapple pie in some locations. It wasn’t that good.

    I hate the current incarnation of the McDonald’s apple pies. They taste horrible. And at 89 cents each, they are not even close to a good value. Hell, even at 2 for $1, they are not a great deal.

    What I want back: their cherry pies that I had as a kid. They were fried and the cherry filling was so good, all warm. Damn stupid decisions they make there on food changes.

    I am with you. Bring back the fried pie.

  11. Etienne says:

    Maybe someday they’ll switch back to fried pies. (They were better but, the baked ones are still pretty good). Of course, at the same time they’ll probably switch back to cooking oil that contains beef tallow, too. Don’t you know there’s no way to win, yet, Dave?
    Speaking of McPies – I remember when they used to have cherry ones, too and Betty Furness allied with some school kids to calculate the number of cherries, as something didn’t seem right. The kids figured that based on the picture a pie should have 20-30 but, in actuality the came up with a average of 4.5. Ronald McDonald got a black eye on the Today show and the McSuits had to backpedal so, now the pies have more fruit in ’em.
    Power to the people(or at least to the grammar school kids)!

    • Kelley Dix says:

      I was in that group of gifted students that did the research on the cherry pies. There was only 1.75 cherries per pie. The container they used was covered in cherries. False advertisement.

      It ended up breaking my heart because I loved those cherry pies so much. It was really just an excuse to eat McDonald’s every Thursday when we met.

      So I officially apologize for the loss of the wonderful McDonald’s hardly any cherry having pie.

  12. Wait, people don’t go to McDonald’s to eat healthily?

    • Ren says:

      I do. Twice today, in fact: Yogurt Parfait for Breakfast and Bacon Ranch Salad with Grilled Chicken for lunch. Both are better at Chick-Fil-A, but also more expensive.

  13. Carrie says:

    I wish they would bring back McDonald Land Cookies!! The shortbread ones in the shapes of the characters…yes, I am 32 yers old, but gosh I loved those things. Now all they have is nasty little chocolate chip cookies.

  14. kilax says:

    Did you know the apple pie is one of the only things at McDonald’s that is vegan? Too bad it does suck though 🙂

  15. Poppy says:

    I get a Coke and sweet and sour sauce for the fries. Then I’m not disappointed that their desserts suck so much ass.

  16. Hilly says:

    Yeah what the hell? Last month, I decided to “be bad” at get McPie, only to find out that it was baked and shit. If I wanted a healthy dessert, I’d eat frozen yogurt,thanks.

  17. josh says:

    Fast food is dizgusting and disappointing. I’d rather have homemade strawberry rhubarb pie! MMM…mah tastebuz are tangled in a sweet & sour orgy!

  18. TheTalena says:

    Here in Portland, there is a food cart that serves ONLY fried pies! The sweet ones are almost always vegan and they have an ever-changing selection of meat and vegan savory pies. I will gladly buy you pie the next time you come to PDX!

    PS: They’re called Whiffies and they have a Twitter: @Whiffies and they’re on Facebook. (Search for Whiffies Fried Pies.)

  19. jester says:

    FYI, I was working at McDonald’s when the great pie switch over took place… it had NOTHING to do with being more healthy at all.

    It had EVERYTHING to do with the lawsuits from several people who suffered 2nd and third degree burns from the searingly hot and sticky hell-lava that would erupt from that crackling pastry.

    They had a tendency to pop open like zits when they went into the boxes straight from the fryer and you did not want to be in the way when that happened.

  20. delmer says:

    I’ve not had any form of McPie since before 1992 and hadn’t realized they’d gone to a baked version.

    I do my fair share, however, of eating their ice cream. And, of course, I have a parfait almost daily.

  21. Muskrat says:

    Haven’t had a McD’s pie since highschool. Now, I’m glad.

  22. David says:

    Fried McPie?

    Ew.

  23. whall says:

    Sounds like a character name from a Coen brothers film.

    “What’s yer name, son?”
    “McPie. Fried McPie.”

  24. Kirsten says:

    I second the suggestion of going to Taco Bell. Their caramel apple empanadas are pretty darn good, and best of all – they’re fried!

  25. When you come to ATL in July, we’ll go to The Varsity and you can get a fried apple pie there. 🙂

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