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Tasted

Posted on Saturday, March 14th, 2009

Dave!For the first time in months, my idiopathic angioedema (random swelling due to the release of histamines by my mast cells) dropped by for a vist, causing a massive welt to appear on the bottom of my left foot. This is annoying, but relatively harmless (as say... compared to my tongue or throat swelling up so I suffocate and die) so I just tried my best to ignore it. But then I remembered my allergist had prescribed some massively concentrated antihistamines to try, so I took three and waited to see what happened.

What happened was a miracle. Instead of taking ten hours to go away, the swelling disappeared in under two.

Which is good news, right? I should be celebrating. Except...

HOLY CRAP DO THOSE PILLS TASTE HEINOUS!!!

Imagine taking a handful of aspirin, multiplying it's horrible taste by 100, then rolling it in toxic waste. THAT'S what these pills taste like. And apparently they're quick-disolving, because they had already started melting in my mouth by the time I could get a glass of water to my lips. In very short order, my tongue was coated with a taste so foul that I very nearly had to vomit... twice.

I scarfed down pizza, cookies, Coke, garlic bread, spicy pepper hummus, and chocolate. The taste was still there. I then brushed my tongue, sprayed it with antiseptic, then gargled with mouthwash. The taste was still there. I eventually found some Altoids, and they finally managed to destroy the taste... replacing it with something not much better.

Depending on the body part affected, next time I may just let it stay swollen instead of facing the agony.

Much like the agony I feel when I see people asking questions that can easily be answered by searching Google. It happens all the time on places like Twitter, and I just don't get it. It takes the same amount of time to type out a Google query as a tweet on Twitter, so why not just Google that shit and get your answer immediately instead of bothering other people for it?

So now I've created a new Blogography page called "Google That Shit!" which I will put in a keyboard macro. Whenever I see somebody posting a question that could have been asked and answered on Google, I'll toss up a link to it. How else are they going to learn?

Some people may think this makes me an asshole, and they're absolutely right.

But that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make in order to create a better internet for everybody.

You are welcome!


Categories: Blogging 2009Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Hilly says:

    “Google That Shit” is awesome! You know that I feel exactly like you do…um hello, they make Google for a reason. Stop asking annoying questions and just…Google that shit! I’ll gladly let you make the Internet a much better place. 🙂

  2. Tracy says:

    I’m sorry the medicine was funky, but I’m glad it worked! Imagine if it hadn’t…all that nasty taste for nuthin’.

    The Google page is brilliant. I think I need to share it with some officemates…it’s astounding to me how many times I get asked dumbshit questions that could have been answered just as quickly if they’d just taken two seconds to look that shit up!

  3. Crail00 says:

    Two interesting subjects.

  4. personally, i think twitter should be used in any and every way that someone desires. if the actual webpage says “what are you doing?” and i need to know something i could google, half the time i will tell the internet what i am doing. and i will always enjoy the replies.

    perhaps that makes me an asshole, but i love that everyone can use twitter in whatever manner they desire. i find that pretty damn cool.

    i mean, why do you follow people who piss you off?

  5. Dave2 says:

    Because I’m an asshole! I too think people should be able to say whatever they want on Twitter. And now for things like “why is the sky blue,” I have my answer ready! Because I think I should be able to say whatever I want on Twitter too! 🙂

  6. Andy Hayes says:

    Simple but effective. I love it.

  7. Avitable says:

    Twitter IS the new Google! And IRC.

  8. Dave2 says:

    GAH!

    In some cases, I perfectly understand people asking a question. Like when @Whall said “I’m at Blockbuster and want to know if anybody likes this movie” type of thing. First of all, he’s on a mobile phone, so Googling reviews or visiting Rotten Tomatoes or Metacritic is actually more difficult. Second of all, Twitter gets him opinions from people he knows (he may even know their movie tastes), so that’s a logical use of Twitter.

    But if a conversation arises over something factual like “BFG 9000” and you don’t know what means, GOOGLE THAT SHIT! Otherwise all twenty people in the conversation about “BFG 9000” are going to answer, clogging up Twitter over something that could have been instantly and easily answered without disruption. Now… if you see Hilly typing “I PPH that!” and Google doesn’t turn up any meaningful results, then you could Twitter “Googling PPH draws a blank, what’s PPH?”* and that’s okay. At least you took ten seconds to try!

    * Pink Puffy Heart… as in, you love it. Just one of many Hillyisms that SHOULD be on Google.

  9. Mighty Hunter says:

    I think someone beat you to it, big fella:

    Let Me Google That For You.

  10. Dave2 says:

    That one is too weak… this one is too strong.

    I wanted one that wasn’t mean, but made a statement. If you want something done right, do it yourself!

  11. B.E. Earl says:

    What is Google?

    Nevermind…I’ll just google that sht. 😉

  12. Badger says:

    I am fully on board with your Google That Shit movement. My very favorite thing of all is when I post about something on my blog, providing a link to explain what it is I’m talking about so people don’t HAVE to Google it, and someone asks in comments … er, what the hell it is that I’m talking about. Maybe we need a Follow The Fucking Link, Dumbass movement as a companion to Google That Shit?

  13. Reminds of Let Me Google That For You. Love it.

    I hate it when people with smart phones call me to have me look up stuff for them. I want to confiscate their technology.

  14. sizzle says:

    I hope when you make your next round of t-shirts, “google that shit” is one of them. I’d buy!

    I really don’t understand why pills can’t have a chocolate coating. It makes it go down easier.

  15. dave, i wholeheartedly defend both of our rights to be an asshole! (although i actually don’t think either of our viewpoints make us assholes.)

  16. Sybil Law says:

    A – MEN!!!!!!!!

  17. Stacey says:

    I can’t even tell you how often I say “I don’t know, Google it!” 99% of the time these people are sitting at a computer too.

  18. Gah! Allergies like that scare the crap out of me. (I have them too.) And why is it the cure is nearly as bad as the problem? *sigh*

    As for your “Google That” …I’ll probably end up asking something dumb that will land me on your list in no time.

  19. Janice says:

    On occasion, I too, have had to take some vile medications. I started long ago filling my mouth with water, dropping my head back and dropping in the pills. In my experience they don’t dissolve before you get them swallowed. This is also very effective when you have to take gargantuan pills. They just go right down!

    Try it before you give up on the meds. I enjoy your blog and want it to continue!

  20. martymankins says:

    I’m surrounded by people that don’t know how to Google. I get calls, emails, physical requests asking about simple stuff.

    I would much prefer people Google themselves, then if they get stuck or can’t find what they are looking for, then ask for help. At least it’s them making a valid attempt at trying to find their own answers.

  21. yellojkt says:

    People ask questions on Twitter to trick some know-it-all to Google it for them. Lazy bastards.

  22. Hilly says:

    Dave, I totally get what you are saying. I will ask Twitter for something when I want their opinions and like you said, I think that is totally fine. However, if it is just factual (and actual), learn to use Google mother fuckers. Sheesh!

    🙂

  23. Eric says:

    in this age of google and now wikipedia, it is friggin’ shameful how lazy people are about looking things up. my favorite was a blogger (implying some degree of computer literacy) talking about her diabetes and a potential newly-diagnosed thyroid condition. she complained that her doctor didn’t explain it, and left a plea for anyone to tell her what “TSH” was. when my wife pointed out this post she had surfed to, i begged her to rant at that blogger and leave her a link to google. instead she pulled up some thyroid info and posted those links. probably a disservice, some people will never think for themselves if they keep getting handouts.

  24. Iron Fist says:

    I think you should also make a page wherein Lil’ Dave demonstrates how to use a feedreader.

  25. tori says:

    I had to take steroids years ago and I remember that taste that wouldn’t go away. Yuck! I feel for you on that for sure!

  26. lizriz says:

    LOL “Google That Shit”

    Crap, you’re totally going to get me with that one of these days… It’s sheer laziness, too. Or maybe it’s wanting to hear from peeps you know instead of searching. Ah well, I’ll take my lumps when they’re due. 😉

  27. Twinkie says:

    I refuse to Twitter but that’s for another time. What I wanted to say is that I’m the complete opposite of those non googling twitterers. In fact I get on my hubby’s nerves because we’ll be talking about something and I think his information is incorrect so I’ll say, “OK Well let’s see who’s right!” and I’ll bust out my iPhone and google it and prove him wrong. He’ll roll his eyes and say “DO you HAVE to google everything? GEEZUZ!”

  28. Bubblewench says:

    Have to say on the Twittering questions.. I am one of those morons that do that sometimes. Why? Because I mainly twitter from my phone and while I can tweet from my phone, I don’t get on the internet. And I’m not always near a computer to Google it, so I ask… figuring out that SOMEONE has to be on a computer and will tell me! hasn’t worked once though.

  29. Peter says:

    Right on my brother!!

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