Why is it that everywhere I go, the weather turns uncharacteristically cold?
Just one day after Belinda was lamenting the terrible heat in Orlando, I arrive and it's so cold that I'm having to wear a jacket. Now I arrive in San Francisco, where the weather is generally mild this time of year, and it's so cold that I'm wearing a sweatshirt plus a coat and gloves! Harsh! If I were back home, cold temperatures would be normal and I could deal with it... but here? It's a little more than depressing.
Much like having your suitcase miss your connecting flight.
But things like this are really to be expected on one of the busiest travel day of the year, so I'm not bitter.
No, my bitterness comes from my flight out of Spokane this morning as I listen to the man in the row behind me talking to the woman he is sitting next to...
SCARY MAN: Do you frighten easily?
WOMAN: Uhhhh... no. Why? Is there something that's going to frighten me?
SCARY MAN: I just want to let you know that the next noise you hear may sound like a wild boar sneaking up behind you, but it's not. So don't be frightened when you hear it...
• • • SCARY MAN CUTS LOOSE WITH A MASSIVE, TOTAL PANTS-RIPPING FART • • •
WOMAN: Oh my gawd!!
SCARY MAN: See, no wild boars! You're safe!
I mean... seriously... what the hell?
It's very rare that I'm at a loss for words, but this is one of those moments. I was half-way considering turning around and saying "Do YOU frighten easily? Because the next noise YOU hear may sound like a foot being broken off in your stupid ass which, I assure you, it most certainly is."
Some people just shouldn't be allowed to mingle with the general populace.
And by "some people" I actually mean "most people."
Anyway... after finishing up some work, I had a perfectly wonderful dinner with Dan from Therapy Beckons and his lovely girlfriend here in the city. Just the thing I needed to help me forget about cold weather, airplane farts, lost luggage, Britney Spears' child custody battle, and the George W. Bush presidency.
Well, not really... but 4 out of 5 ain't bad.