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Craptacular

Posted on Tuesday, February 21st, 2006

Dave!I have no idea what I want to write about today. Usually when I have time to blog, I sit down and at least one topic comes to mind. Today there's nothing... just a bunch of random crap that nobody is going to care about. Ordinarily, I'd work on it a bit until something struck me, but today I am completely lacking in ambition. So totally random crap it is!!

Hey, you should feel lucky I'm bothering at all...

Daveopoly

GAMES: Last year, a friend of mine got pretty sick, and so I miniaturized a few board games and sent them to her to help pass the time with her visitors. I had forgotten all about it until yesterday when I accidentally ran across the files I used to make the games and all the pieces. My favorite of the lot was always "Daveopoly" in which I recreated absolutely everything in a Monopoly box to be "Dave-ified." All the streets have been renamed in my image ("Davetucky Avenue," "Davelantic Avenue," and "Davewalk" for example). But I didn't stop there, I put my face on all the money and re-drew every last "Community Chest" and "Chance" card (my favorite being the "Get out of pound-you-in-the-ass prison free" card). Drawing all that wasn't really difficult, but cutting it all out and putting it together was sure a pain. Next time she's getting a deck of cards.

Catwalk06 Liz1

LIZ: A totally crappy episode of Project Catwalk greeted me after spending a couple hours downloading the torrent to episode #6. There wasn't much Elizabeth Hurley this time, and instead we had to look at some freaky guy with tattoos who is apparently a famous British designer. HELPFUL HINT TO SKY ONE BROADCASTING: Nobody gives a flying f#@% if some idiot can make a shitty-looking dress out of a shower curtain... PEOPLE ARE WATCHING YOUR SHOW TO SEE LIZ!

Catwalk06 Liz2

Catwalk06 Liz3

Next season, hire an editor that understands the true power of Elizabeth Hurley's breasts! Dumbasses.

TWO-POINT-NO: I still haven't made my way through all the email that piled up while I was gone over the weekend, but I did dig deep enough to find one from some douche wanting me to sign up for a "Web 2.0 Conference". HELPFUL HINT TO ANYBODY SENDING ME EMAIL: Any time I see the words "Web 2.0" in an email, I delete the stupid shit immediately. Do not pass spam filter. Do not collect conference fees. If ever there was a marketing hype term that was as useless as a bow on a turd, this is it. The web is evolving, and always has been. Assigning "Web 2.0" to some arbitrary technology so you can sucker people into thinking that Javascript and DOM is something new is just stupid. Are you the same moron who was declaring Flash as "Web 2.0" five years ago? Yeah, that's what I thought. Anybody pushing "Web 2.0" is trying to sell you something.

Betty White Zoo

BETTY: Running to the other edge of the "remarkable woman spectrum" comes the news that Betty White has been honored for her work on behalf of animal rights by the Los Angeles Zoo. She is now an official "Ambassador to the Animals" which sounds cool, even if I don't know what that means. I just hope it doesn't interfere with her acting, because her recent appearances on Boston Legal have been GOLD. Giving Betty a gun and having her rob convenience stores was genius.

T-SHIRTS: Well, the weather seems to be clearing up, so everybody who has a Blogography T-Shirt from the Artificial Duck Store will be happy to know that I've got another order going in tomorrow morning. With luck, I'll be shipping orders at the end of the month! Sorry for the wait.

Davelympics

OLYMPIC: Seriously, does anybody give a crap about the Olympics anymore? It seems to be less about an athletic competition, and more about a competition to make money. They're always adding new events in order to capture public interest, and half the crap doesn't make any sense. I swear, if this trend continues, they're going to have Wet T-Shirt Competition as an Olympic sport. Besides, it's too heartbreaking watching some guy from a poor nation who works two jobs in order to pay for his training compete against wealthier nations that spend millions on their athletes. "Going for the Gold" has an entirely different meaning now that we're actually talking about networks "Going for the advertising dollars Gold."

GROMIT: Well, that's all folks... my copy of Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit arrived today!


Categories: DaveLife 2006, Elizabeth HurleyClick To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Randy says:

    Since this appears to be an adhoc day, I’ll go off topic and say I saw Bbk Mtn this weekend. It was basically a western soap opera, with emphasis on the tragic/depressing side of opera…I definitely liked the mountain scenary, though, but the story moved too slowly, especially when it was mostly predictable.

    If I had a vote in the upcoming Grand Movie Awards night, I’d vote for Crash.

  2. Mooselet says:

    That bird – is it an eagle? – looks like it’s about to have Betty for lunch.

  3. Clever says:

    I like Daveopololy. You should sell them. =D
    Your obsession with Elizabeth Hurley may be a little unhealthy.

  4. jenny says:

    You can post all the boob-tastic photos of Elizabeth Hurley in the world, but the fact that you made that game for a sick friend makes you one of the coolest, kindest guys I’ve never met.

    [not that I have anything against Liz or her breasts… just remarking on the contrast w/in this post]

    🙂

  5. Kat says:

    Wallace & Gromit arrived to you? What magicalness have you concocted where Wallace & Gromit arrive to you? Happy watching! Picked up mine last week and it’s absolutely fantastic! ^_^

  6. MRKisThatKid says:

    …And you had no idea what to write about today! haha. I’m not sure if you know of Sky One’s public persona in the UK but it’s pretty much a non-channel. I thinks it’s quite funny that the only person I know who watches it is an american blogger. But I suppose if you have a hurley addiction?

    Right on about the web 2.0 thing. ajax and all that is great but the way people talk about it it’s as if you HAVE to have all these technologies to have a great web site. Um no, you use the technologies you need to create the website you need to create.

  7. Anthony says:

    I’m still waiting on my copy of Wallace and Gromit. 🙁

  8. Tracy says:

    Does anybody care about the Olympics anymore? My hubby sure does…I have one TiVo recording all the Olympics, all the time…and he’s watched all of the events except for hockey. Sometimes he’s watching in FF, but he’s watching them. Luckily I have another TiVo catching the limited amount of regular TV that we normally watch.

  9. Kevin says:

    Oh good, Katie and I thought we were the only ones who had absolutely no interest in the Olympics this year. It just hasn’t appealed to us whatsoever. Even Apolo Ohno, who I loved watching four years ago, hasn’t piqued my interest.

    What are the gameboard pieces for Daveopoly like?

  10. Patti says:

    something tells me you would’ve had a lot more inspiration if you weren’t busy weaning yourself off a 6-pack of Coke w/lime a day habit.

    sorry…didn’t mean to rub it in. 😉

  11. jube jubes says:

    You’re right about the olympics. :p
    Mens cross country skiing was the worst. 50 kilometers of mountain trail, and a play by play
    commentary for the whole HOUR AND A HALF.
    yuck, definatly NOT what I want to spend my spring vacation watching.

  12. Jeff says:

    Dave, any chance you can give your Daveopoly board a link to a bigger view? I’d like to see some of the details but my eyes ain’t what they used to be – and my piece-o-crap Dell laptop isn’t clear enough either. Just hate to see such fine work not getting the attention it deserves!

  13. Art says:

    Couldnt care less about the Olympics. I do however have a new found appreciation for bartop shuffle boards big brother, curling. Is curling the winter version of the dancing ribbon chicks from the summer?
    I have to agree with Clever that your Lizdiction may be getting a lil bit out of hand. One day at a time Dave………

  14. adena says:

    You know, if coke decided to do a commercial featuring a half-naked Liz Hurly drinking a Lime Coke, I think you’d have a coronary on the spot.

    (BTW, I’m drinking a nice, refreshing lime coke as I type….ahh, it’s nice to have stores that still carry it. Heh.)

  15. Pauly D says:

    Is the Daveopoly car just like your real life car?

  16. Kristy says:

    What did that eagle do that Betty White finds so amusing? I want a funny eagle.

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