I often-times wish that I had the power to make people's heads explode. But it's probably a good thing I don't, because there would be a drastic drop in the world population. I just don't think I could contain myself when it comes to simple, everyday situations where people piss me off. I can't quite decide if that makes me weak or just plain evil.
I'm betting on evil, but that could just be wishful thinking.
Anyway, if I DID have such awesome psychic powers, here's a list of people whose heads would be blown up just today (and the night is not yet over!)...
- The neighbor who slams his door so hard that my teeth feel as though they're going to be knocked out of my head.
- The morons at MindFieldOnline who sent me an offer of $10 to take an Acuvue Contact Lens survey, but then stopped me part-way through because my "statistic group" was full (never-mind that I responded to the email just 2-seconds after receiving it and they made no mention of limits in the email... f#@%ers).
- The idiot ahead of me driving 20 in a 35 mph zone.
- The ass-clown who parked his pickup across two parking spots at the grocery store, requiring me to park all the way across the lot.
- The stupid bitch with 80's hair and mega-bangs who sat directly in front of us at the theater, despite there being plenty of other seats available.
- The skanky whore behind us who WOULD NOT SHUT UP during the movie.
- The weenie who slapped the lame "happy ending" onto an otherwise decent movie called "The Interpreter."
- The pathetic dickhead who tried to "race" me from a stoplight when I was heading home from the movie... in a Honda CRX with a hilarious-looking spoiler (over a foot tall!) on the back.
- The dumbass monkey-spanker who just flooded me with trackback spam advertising "hot and horny teens."
I think that it would probably go something like this...
And yet, if I went around blowing up the heads of people who rightly deserve to be headless... it would be I who was considered a criminal! It's a world gone mad. MAD I SAY!!!
All I know is that it would not be wise to piss me off. I may not have head-exploding psychic powers now,
but if I continue to keep growing more and more brilliant every day, it's only a matter of time.