So if I ever fall into a depraved state of alcoholism, drug abuse, gambling, and adult diaper wearing, can I just refer people here for an explanation?
I stopped taking all the pain medication I was prescribed because my kidney stone has apparently disappeared. This is a real mystery and has me wondering where the heck it went, but I'm so happy that I'm finding it hard to care. Unless, of course, it is just hiding somewhere temporarily and comes back again. The sneaky bastard.
The problem is that the medication was masking the daily aches and pains that I usually have from my joint problems, and now they've all come back. This is a major bummer, and has given me an entirely new appreciation of drug addiction. Who wouldn't want to have a pain-free life, after all?
Of course, given how shitty "life" is now-a-days, I've also been given an entirely new appreciation of alcoholism. Who wouldn't want to live oblivious to all the world's fucked-up problems, after all?
Of course, given that it's difficult to hold a job when you're popping pills and drowning in alcohol, I've also been given an entirely new appreciation of gambling addiction. Who wants to work when they can just win money for free, after all?
Of course, given all that drinking, drug-abuse, and gambling, I've also been given an entirely new appreciation for Depends Brand Adult Diapers. Who wants to haul their drunk, drugged-up, broke ass off the sofa to go to the bathroom, after all?
So the next time you see me hanging around in a diaper all stoned, drunk, and begging for cash, well... now you know why...
It's because I want my life to be perfect and pain-free.
Actually, I found that lifestyle highly over-rated... ;-(
Posted by Whitenoise on April 09, 2009 | Reply
Glad the kidney stone has somehow vaporized. Now if only that joint pain would, too. My grandpa gave me some good advice when I was a kid: Don't get old.
Posted by Atomic Bombshell on April 09, 2009 | Reply
Did the drugs work that well that you didn't even realize you'd passed the stone? Yipes. Oh, and alcoholism for the win I feel.
Posted by Kevin Spencer on April 09, 2009 | Reply
Should I send you a bottle of Jager? Just cut out the pan-handling middle-man?
Posted by Coal Miner's Granddaughter on April 09, 2009 | Reply
I'm willing to hand deliver you some Jager. I'm a giver.
Posted by The Duchess on April 09, 2009 | Reply
Shall we make this the standard outfit for Bitch-terdam? I mean, seems comfy...
Posted by DutchBitch on April 10, 2009 | Reply
Glad you're no longer in pain. I had to quite drinking for a while... drank myself into kidney pain over spring break haha. back to my usual habits now :-)
Posted by Justin Scott on April 10, 2009 | Reply
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