Blogography: Tenfold - David Simmer is revealing ten honest things about himself

Tenfold

Posted on February 11, 2009

Dave! I have been having serious digestive problems since returning from Europe. Everything I eat seems to make me sick. I'm hoping this problem sorts itself out soon, because it's making it really tough to get through my work day.

Speaking of work, today is rather jam-packed, so I've decided to sponge off the "Ten Honest Things About You" meme that's been going around. Because if Iron Fist can be convinced to do it, what chance do I have of resisting? I mean, seriously, the guy doesn't have an "About Me" page, and his "Contact Me" page is permanently under construction... getting him to reveal anything online is paramount to a miracle!

Away we go...

I have to really struggle to remember anything from high school, and rarely think about my time there. It's not that I hated it or didn't have friends or anything... it's just that it's not particularly memorable in any way. This year will be my 25 Year High School Reunion, and I just don't care. I haven't attended any previous reunions because I was traveling, I probably won't attend this one either.
I am deeply disturbed that I know who Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are despite never having watched a single episode of The Hills. Talentless douchebags who become rich and famous for being talentless douchebags make me want to beat the shit out of the people responsible for injecting them into the social consciousness. There is no reason for me to know who these dumbfucks are, and yet I do. Surely that storage space in my brain could be put to better use.
I am too easily irritated by stupidity. Idiotic things morons do which most people would ignore tend to set me on edge. Particularly while driving.
Even though I try hard to cherish all life, there are too many times I catch myself wishing somebody dead for the betterment of all humanity. Or just me. Either way, wishing people dead is something that goes against my beliefs, so this is a continuous source of conflict in my head.
I am ready to die. It's not that I want to die or am looking forward to dying, it's just that I'm ready when my time comes. I try to make my friends and family understand this... partly because I do not want to be kept alive on life support machines or in a coma or anything... but mostly because I don't want anybody feeling bad about me being dead.
My favorite sandwich is cheddar cheese and potato chips with mayo. It bothers me greatly that I can't recall when, where, or how I came up with the concept of putting potato chips on a cheese sandwich. It seems I've always been doing it.
I have absolutely no faith in politicians and political leaders. In fact, due to being constantly and consistently disappointed my entire life, I've been conditioned to loathe them. All of them.
Whenever somebody tells me I have an interesting life, it's cringe-inducing. Yes, I get to go to a lot of interesting places and have done a lot of interesting things, but I don't think that means I myself am interesting... my surroundings merely makes it appear that way from time to time.
Nothing really angers me long-term. Sure I care about stuff and can become upset over a situation, but it's all so very temporary. A lot of times I have to work myself up to feeling angry about something that's in the past. Not because I really feel that way, but because I sense people expect me to feel that way when it comes up.
The most honest and revealing thing I've ever written on my blog is this: "I've thought I was in love three times. I have actually been in love just once." And this: "My first love ended very, very badly when it turned out she was a psychotic bitch. Since I would rather be alone the rest of my life that go through that kind of pain again, I am much more cautious now (which is probably why love hasn't found me again)." Both were listed on my "100 Things" page, and explain more about who I am now than I care to admit.

Time for another swig of Pepto Bismol...

Pepto-Beer

If that can't cure me... what can?

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Comments

I know we have talked about number 5 before and that I feel the same way. I just wrote my list of 10 (but am not ready to hit publish on it yet...maybe next week?) and I think that might be on mine as well. Interesting. I get it, but I don't think many people do.

Posted by radioactive tori on February 11, 2009 | Reply

I, too, know who "Speidi" is. It makes me want to wretch. Blurgh!

Posted by metalmom on February 11, 2009 | Reply

No worries. We'll make sure that in March you just drink and not eat.. that should fix things...

Posted by DutchBitch on February 11, 2009 | Reply

I can see where, on a whim, you would have thought, "Hey...if I just LOVE the taste of the chips RIGHT AFTER I eat a bite of my cheddar and mayo sandwich, how much BETTER would they be TOGETHER?". I've thought it myself. Fab-u-lous!!

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Candied ginger is a great snack when the tummy isn't what it should be. Hope you feel better soon!

Posted by TSM on February 11, 2009 | Reply

I think you're an interesting person but not because of the places you go or the things you do...just because of what I know about your insides. I like your guts and stuff.

I've always been fond of putting tortilla chips on my PB&J sandwich! Crunchy AND tasty. :)

Posted by Hilly on February 11, 2009 | Reply

Ew- hope the sickies go away.
I have to admit - you potato chip cheddar cheese sandwich actually sounds good!! Weird,but good!
You are interesting - the travels are just extra interesting. :)

Posted by Sybil Law on February 11, 2009 | Reply

Enter (most likely useless) internet assvice:

You might have a parasite or infection from something you ate and this kind of thing can go on for months and months. You might want to check into seeing a doctor so you can just grab whatever they use to get rid of it and you can stop having to suffer with the obnoxious pink stuff.

I only say this because I just took my daughter to the doctor for something similar, only it turned out to be gastritis not an infection or parasite. ANYway... thought that info might be helpful or not. Probably not.

You have no idea how much I agree on the Heidi and Spencer thing. I've never see The Hills either. Gag. Barf. Blech.

Wow, with your stomach problems that was probably totally inappropriate, huh? My bad.

Posted by AmyD on February 11, 2009 | Reply

Wait a second... so you are telling me there are actually things that Pepto Bismol CAN'T fix?

That is about the most terrifying thought I can imagine! :-)

Posted by Dave2 on February 11, 2009 | Reply

Oh Dave, we love you, we honestly do.

Posted by Sorata on February 11, 2009 | Reply

Do you have a living will? After my parents went through the hell of disconnecting my brother from life support, I did the living will thing so nobody else has to make that decision for me; I've already made it.

Peanut butter & potato chip sandwiches are awesome!

Posted by Tug on February 11, 2009 | Reply

I, too, am ready to die. I don't often say it as I don't want to worry people or give them the wrong idea.

Posted by delmer on February 11, 2009 | Reply

The things you've seen and experienced make you interesting. Deal with it!

Posted by Avitable on February 11, 2009 | Reply

Let love in! I don't really, but I would like you to. It would be kind of hopeful to me and you could give me pointers.

Feel better.

Posted by Long Story Longer on February 11, 2009 | Reply

I'd wondered about your take on #4.

Hope you feel better soon!

Posted by claire on February 11, 2009 | Reply

Sorry you are sick. My sick and your sick should commiserate.

Feel better!

Posted by sizzle on February 11, 2009 | Reply

I like nothing better than a buttered potato crisp sandwich, throw on some hot sauce and or vinegar and I'm happy, I'm not keen on mayo much though.

Posted by Mik on February 11, 2009 | Reply

A) Ha, I have no idea who those actors(?) are. Neener.

B) You are a loved person whose absence would be missed, so no matter what you say nor how at peace you are with death, there are people who would 'feel bad'. They'd grieve, feel sorrowful, etc. And that's exactly as it should be. That's natural and right amongst good people. There's no defying something so hard wired into humanity. Your wish to do so, to spare people pain, is too, of course. Interesting concert, the human experience.

C) What Avitable said. You have great stories, you're interesting. Anyone who has great stories is interesting. Don't bother cringing; let comments like that bring out the DaveAir CEO or Pope in you, and feel like, yeah, you're totally right! I'm interesting!

D) I totally get the once bitten twice shy thing, but that usually only goes so far in explaining stuff. You're a pretty brave soul, as you demonstrated in that (fucking astounding) clown suit at Avitable's. You actually BECAME something you're afraid of. Dating and finding dates even when one's actively looking for 'em is just HARD, sometimes really. Don't just blame your caution; it ain't just you, it's the world too.

Sigh.

I want don't want to end like that, jeez. Well, how about this: HOPE. Keep the embers glowing. Why not? That's free, and counts as good energy, good Karma. It's a nourishing thing and its presence ripples outward.

Posted by Catherine on February 11, 2009 | Reply

I have never taken Pepto Bismol in my life. But I do know that stupid song about it by heart. My friend also has a pink car the color of Pepto Bismol, for which I make fun of her a lot. She might have just kicked me today for it and left a bruise.

Posted by Sarah on February 11, 2009 | Reply

Actually, I've had an "About Me" page for a while, I've just been shy about revealing it...until now.

Posted by Iron Fist on February 12, 2009 | Reply

If it makes you feel any better, I too know who Montag, et al, are I don't even turn on MTV anymore. It's weird.

Posted by kapgar on February 12, 2009 | Reply

OMG it's like we're twins! Except I'm not ready to die (maybe when my kids are older) and I can stay angry a loooooooooong time, yo.

Posted by Badger on February 12, 2009 | Reply

I hope you feel better soon. If not you need to see a doctor.... there are all sorts of nasty things you could have picked up.

I'm pretty sure you aren't boring.... your blog is certainly entertaining.

And quit saying you're ready to die. You may be okay with it but the rest of us would miss you.

Posted by Michelle on February 12, 2009 | Reply

Regarding number 3 (and, perhaps, number 4), do you ever find yourself browsing in a store, minding your own business, when suddenly you overhear a (possibly idiotic) person talking and think to yourself, "THAT is the MOST ANNOYING VOICE EVER!!!!!!!!!!"

Do you?

Posted by Jonathan on February 12, 2009 | Reply

Yeah, but what kind of bread do you use for your cheddar, chips and mayo sandwich?

I'm a bread guy and I think sourdough rye would be appropriate.

Posted by B.E. Earl on February 12, 2009 | Reply

#2 is also one of my pet peeves...

Posted by suze on February 12, 2009 | Reply

You're so...so...TRANSPARENT.

Lucky for you all that Pepto is covering it up.

(I sorta want to smoosh you into a big hug after reading this.)

Posted by Mocha on February 12, 2009 | Reply

Regarding #5: If you don't already have an advance directive and/or POLST you should have a look here.

Everyone should have their wishes for life sustaining treatment in writing. It would make things a whole lot easier on your friends and family in the event of difficult decisions.

Take care

Posted by David on February 13, 2009 | Reply

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