Woo hoo! I am a DaveGenius AND one of those suhweet zombie shirts is MINE!!! Mine, I say, MINE!!! Bwahahahahaha!!!
I am of the opinion that people who suffer from road rage are probably blameless for their condition. There are so many total dumbasses on the road that it's no wonder people are enraged. By the time I finally got across the mountains I was so overwhelmed with anger that I was very close to having a mental breakdown. You know it's bad when your throat is sore from screaming at idiots for three solid hours (knowing full well that they will never hear you).
Here is a puzzle for you...
Given the above situation do you...
A: Realize that you are delaying traffic and pissing people off, so you pull over at the next turnout.
OR...
B: Think that you are the center of the universe, don't give a shit about anybody else, and don't bother pulling off at the turnout because it would be an inconvenience.
If you answered A, then congratulations! You not only know how to read, but you also know how to drive legally! This gives you a DaveQ of 1000, so please go get a badge and display it proudly!
If you answered B, then please f#@% off and die. Seriously. It's bad enough that you are going 18 miles an hour under the speed limit, but the fact that you are breaking the law and causing people to have a brain hemorrhage BECAUSE YOU WON'T PULL THE F#@% OFF THE ROAD TO LET US PASS... well, I just want your stupid ass beat to shit until you die.
DIE! DIE! DIE!!!
Ahem. But it was all worth it because once I got to Redmond it was Zombie time...
Everything turned out super-sweet (though the photos look a little freaky because I had to use a flash).
These shirts are pretty nifty because they are so astoundingly useful...
CONDITION: Hung-over on a Monday morning at work due to a weekend of heavy partying? EXCUSE YOU CAN USE: Zombies ate my brain.
CONDITION: Stayed up too late watching a marathon of old Arnold Schwartzenegger movies? EXCUSE YOU CAN USE: Zombies ate my brain.
CONDITION: Sick with the flu but can't afford to miss a day of work? EXCUSE YOU CAN USE: Zombies ate my brain.
CONDITION: Fall asleep while making love to your significant other? EXCUSE YOU CAN USE: Zombies ate my brain.
The beauty of it all is that you don't even have to say a word... just point to the shirt!
And now I'm off to Chicago...
I'm glad I am not the only one who nearly lost his voice yelling at bad drivers today. I have had it with all the old people who live around where I work. At least I have noticed a few of them get offended at my "Not My President" bumper sticker.
I'm bummed that I didn't have any disposable cash when you were taking orders for the shirts. I might cry myself to sleep now.
I also had a bad driver/road rage issue recently...
Yesterday after work, I had just gotten out of the parking lot when I was cut off, twice, and then the second person who cut me off decided to slow down immediately to 15 miles an hour (from the 60 mph she was going when she found the need to cut over directly in front of me, for no reason I could see) while chatting away on her cell phone and reapplying lipstick. I was screaming away at her within my car when I realized the person in the lane next to me was staring at me.
Yeah, it was one of my co-workers. One of my least-favorite ones. One of the evil, petty, judgemental ones. Who saw me screaming my way into an aneurism.
I, of course, pretended I was singing vehemently along to the radio. I mean, doesn't everyone sing along so adamantly that veins stick out in their neck?
Fun.
Posted by Silvertongue on June 02, 2006 | Reply
Sweeeeeet!!! Can't wait to get mine.
Have fun in Chicago.
Posted by ChillyWilly on June 02, 2006 | Reply
awesome t-shirts!
have fun in chicago. give dave a hug for me. ;)
Posted by ms. sizzle on June 02, 2006 | Reply
what i meant was- dave hug kevin, kevin hug dave.
it didn't come out right. ;)
Posted by ms. sizzle on June 02, 2006 | Reply
You drove all the way from Cashmere to Redmond JUST to get our tee-shirts??
Talk about appreciating your readers, geez! I feel guilty for only sending you 10 bucks, now.
As far as the meet up in Chicago. Waaaaay too far away. You need to do a Northwest meetup. And since my car is broken, maybe schedule it for someplace like....say....McMinnville! :) (Hey you know people here, anyway...right?)
All Artificial Duck Shirts come with an instruction manual, and all is explained within! :-)
That being said... cold or warm water is best to maintain the color fidelity and prevent excessive shrinkage. The REAL damage to ANY T-shirt, however, is the clothes dryer. T-Shirts should never, ever be put in a dryer. If you simply must do it, be sure to turn it inside-out first to protect the design.
I washed my Zombie T with every load last night to test the image (4 times total) always in warm water, and it only lost a half-size (as expected). But, if you were to blast it in a dryer, I'm sure it would shrink more.
On the recent trip to Tennessee I encountered too many semis w/trailer that wanted to pass the semi w/trailer in front of them that was going .001 mph too slow for their liking.
As the trailing rig would swing around (and I say that loosly) the leading rig the increased wind resistance would actually cause the second rig to slow a bit. He would eventually regain his speed and then pass the leading rig, who we'll say was going and even 60 mph, at his desired speed of 60.001 mph.
It was agonizing to watch and get caught behind.
Oh, I just can't wait to get mine. I ordered it huge for sleeping, but I might have to shrink it so I can wear it outside. Because, with twins, Zombies ate my brain long long ago.
Have a great time in Chicago and don't eat too much pizza. Hope you get to a cubs game.
Sweet shirts!
I'd Love to buy one, but, you know...
Zombies ate my brain.
Posted by James on June 02, 2006 | Reply
God damn, these look awesome! I think I might buy one of these bad boys. I typically don't like people who use a lot of excuses but I like this one. It can get you out of a lot of jams. Pulled over for speeding? You got it: Zombies ate my brain. Innapporpriately touching your 90 year old grandma? Well, that's just gross.
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