I'm speechless.
No you're not.
You could be very happy in Chicago, Dave.
Yes, he would.

Posted by RW on June 11, 2006 | Reply

Well gee, that explains it. So I guess pink + brown = black? ;)

Posted by nicole on June 11, 2006 | Reply

As long as it's an inner monologue you should be okay. If not a nice trip to the padded palace might be in your near future.

P.S. According to my friends Rolaids and/or Tums is actually the cure for everything. At least that is what they believe.

Posted by Troy on June 11, 2006 | Reply

Thank you for reminding me about Entourage! My day just got less crappy because of you.

I will hoist a shot of the Bis in your honor tonight, sir!

Posted by FrancesDanger on June 11, 2006 | Reply

You should TOTALLY listen to yourself when he tells you to move to Chicago. The Bean controls you... The Bean commands you to move here... :)

Posted by jenny on June 11, 2006 | Reply

At least you were right two out of three times. You DO want to move to Chicago.

Posted by ChicagoDave on June 11, 2006 | Reply

I guess that's better than pink poop.

That would just be weird.

Posted by Jeff on June 11, 2006 | Reply

Ah, it's like you're starring in "Multiplicity II: the Dave Factor." So what is the preferred beer brand for a Pepto chaser, anyway?

Posted by Karl on June 11, 2006 | Reply

Not only your poop, but your tongue as well! Or maybe your beer chaser rinses it off your tongue well enough to prevent that. Mom told me it was the pepsin in it, but I have no idea if she knew what she was talking about.

Yeah, the Pink Miracle once got me through an icky bout of food poisoning. It's always in the medicine cabinet.

Posted by SJ on June 11, 2006 | Reply

isn't the first step is admitting there could be a problem? lol. i think your diagnosis applies to me, too. however, i don't think i like the cure. i'd rather keep talking to myself.

Posted by alice on June 11, 2006 | Reply

Don't worry too too much; I do it at WORK, mind you. Yes, it is that scary at times ;)

Posted by Hilly on June 11, 2006 | Reply

Can you say Pepto-Beermol?
In my short life i've never used that stuff.

Posted by James on June 11, 2006 | Reply

Hey, you mean it's not normal to have those conversations with yourself? I do it all. the. time. If anyone asks me who I'm talking to, I just say the cat.

I can't take Pepto. Makes me chunk about 5 minutes after drinking it. Bleh. Should be outlawed.

And you so don't want to move to Chicago. Just say NO. I used to travel there on business and in the winter, we'd get out of the limo and literally have a rope to guide us into the building and keep us from falling down or losing our way. Totally messed up, yo.

Posted by Kentucky Girl on June 11, 2006 | Reply

PEPTO BISMOL? WITH A BEER CHASER?

Oh God. I am off food for the next two days. I can't think of any two different flavors I would NOT want next to each other.

Posted by karla on June 12, 2006 | Reply

Dave, I don't think you're schizophren.
Sorry, but I'll continue in French.
Tout le monde s'auto-évalue. Mais il n'est pas toujours facile de s'auto-évaluer. Je pense que cela a un rapport avec l'estime de soi. Plus son estime de soi baisse, plus on se focalise sur soi-même. Une bonne estime de soi ressemble à un moteur : silencieuse, elle se contente de remplir sa fonction, c'est-à-dire faciliter le lien au monde.
You'd to work sunday and you re-sifted negative thoughts on yourself. Your regard of oneself dropped just for a day.
It's my phisolophical point of view. Paul Valéry, french writer and poet (1871-1945) thought : "Modestes sont ceux en qui le sentiment d'être d'abord des hommes l'emporte sur le sentiment d'être soi-même. Ils sont plus attentifs à leur ressemblance avec le commun qu'à leur différence et singularité..."

Posted by Laurence on June 12, 2006 | Reply

I had the opposite problem this weekend. I needed to work, but I didn't. I slept instead. Yeah, yeah, too bad girly. Except I'm going to pay for it today. :(

Posted by babyoog on June 12, 2006 | Reply

It's okay that you talk to yourself. I talk to my stuffed cat and imagine what she is thinking. At least you can have a dialouge!

Hope next weekend is better for you!

(and you should move to Chicago!)

Posted by kilax on June 12, 2006 | Reply

Black? Really?

Ick.

And I'm with Kilax, you should move to Chicago. Much more to do here.

Posted by Kevin on June 12, 2006 | Reply

fried egg sandwich = delicious (eating one right now!) but did ya really have to tell me about the black poo? losing. . . my. . . appetite...

Posted by ms. sizzle on June 12, 2006 | Reply

Sum up your day in three jingles:

the incredible, edible egg
coats, soothes, relieves
plop, plop, fizz, fizz

Posted by Chanakin on June 12, 2006 | Reply

There may be unforseen forces at work here.

I don't want to alarm you Dave, but have you considered that shards of your identity are functioning independently in other areas of this world and other realms?

I was guided to this place and I think it was to share this with you...Or Sean Lennon, I'm not quite sure.

Please, sit down while you watch this:

http://nationallampoon.com/index.php?option=com_jambozine&layout=article&view=page&aid=23&Itemid=32

Posted by Nancy on June 12, 2006 | Reply

I think the important question is: do you talk to yourself out loud, or is it all internal?

Posted by Bre on June 12, 2006 | Reply

Um, I talk to myself all the time. Oh, but I am insane so you probably shouldn't go by me...

Posted by Deb_LA on June 12, 2006 | Reply

Does Dave have any special technique to making a good fried egg sandwich?

Posted by James on June 12, 2006 | Reply

Oh no! *she moans* I can't believe he wrote about Pepto Bismol + beer. I talk to my stomach a lot and it's telling me that you're crazy. I agree.

Posted by Susan on June 12, 2006 | Reply

Completely supportive of the Chicago idea as well. It's a great town. If you moved this weekend you'd be in time for the Taste. And the movies in the park. But if you don't like the cold, maybe just move here for the summer.

Posted by Hannah on June 13, 2006 | Reply